i don't wanna...

Her bones will ache
Her mouth will shake
And as the passion dies
Her magic heart will break
She needs to heal
She needs to feel
Something more than tender
Everything wrong
Gonna be alright
Come September
Her eyes surrender
her cry a crying shame
Coming undone is she ever gonna
feel the same
She will run
She's gonna drink the sun
Shining just for you
Instead of everyone

Natalie Imbruglia - Come September

2 days ago, after maghrib i was calling idda up, telling her about MUET's stuff. and my cell rang indicating a private number. well, obviously only two people would bother me with their private numbers, either anand likely or, not so likely, joe. i apologized to idda and said i'll call her back later.

turned out my instinct was right. it was joe. he didn't speak to my first few hellos. and,

me : tak nak cakap ke? hello?
him : nervous
me : nak nervous kenapa pulak?
him : nervous la
me : ye la, nervous kenapa, bukannye i nak makan orang pun
him : you asyik cakap hello je, i diam la
me : you should say hello back, duh!
him : well, hello

and the conversation continues. he said he was sorry. he stayed silent all of this while because he was confused. and,

him : kalau you nak marah i, marah la. you ada hak nak marah i. i tak kisah you nak maki i, nak tengking i ke. up to you. and i'm sorry
me : you're long forgiven, joe. malas dah i nak marah. dah puas dah dulu marah, maki you semua. penat

and he roared into laughter hearing my remark. ah well, i've learnt not to keep grudges. though apparently he knew he was wrong but he didn't know what. he's still the same guy of 7 months ago. and my feelings were indescribable when i first heard him ; angry, sad, happy, missing, love, ashamed; everything.

but i wasn't hoping for a get-together. like omar put it into words, i'm just not his type. but i'm happy he called. at least i know, all this while he still had my number like i did for his too.

-----------------------------------

yesterday was like a in-and-out-of-the-office so many times. went out to enquire if tasik utama had streamyx ports or not at the upper floor's tmnet branch. i used abang yus' house phone but they couldn't track it. possibly i copied the number that sha gave me wrongly. then, out to kedai telekom at kotamas to register the phone line. and that was 11.30am. the sour-faced officer said that if not by the evening or tomorrow that the phone will be installed. and i took evening for around 4 somethings.

i reached office and ieja asked me to pickup nana, my routine if the boss couldn't make it. out to fetch nana. back in the office, boss came to me and asked for a fillet-o-fish? out to mc'd then. and i never bothered to go inside if i wanted to take away coz taman buaya's mc'd had a drive through. yela walaupun sume keta, aku pakai moto je, peduli apa hahaha! bukannya datang nak merompak. and in the middle of ordering through the window, my cell rang and indicated a local number.

the telekom contractor was ready to install the phone and it was only 1pm! rushed back to the office without having my helmet taken off. put the paperbag and off to my house. watched them doing their job and one of them even cared enough to tell me that his son from poli applied here in kutkm. and i was so nice to tell him that he should try to appeal for a placing, hahaha. kutkm's been lenient with appeals as they needed students to stuff the already crowded small place. :P the contractor said that the line would be ready by 3pm. and i paid a hefty 30 bucks for that. hadoi.

balik-balik ofis memang melepek laa. hami asyik komplen aku lembab buat keje, padahal nak angkat jari pun dah tak larat. sebabnya aku puasa lagi. hahaha. malam sebelum tu, last aku makan mi, tu pun separuh je sbab izzul kemain beriya-iya makan skali dengan aku. kesian plak, aku bagi dia makan sama atan. time-time aku ganti puasa ni la, bos kasi staf makan free. tension betul aku. dahle smalam kafe bawah nun menu nasi ayam yang sedap. rugi betul.

and last night, i slept at the other practical girls' house. felt freaky to sleep at my house after i found out the back-door is a plain door without grill plak tu. and there's been cases of break-ins these days. yela walaupun rumah aku tu ada king's bed dengan sebijik phone je, takde bende nak dirompak pun, habis aku ni? aku rasa selagi tak pasang gril, memang le tobat!

p/s: one of the e-perolehan seminar's participant looked very much like kay. (oit kay, miss you lah, beb!). and i watched black sash series starring russel wong last night. his character's daughter, claire looked like errr, haneem? hehehe.