Saturday, July 09, 2011

take a bow

i am writing this in a solemn mood. i haven't been able to put this out with words, but i finally do.

i might not be able to spin this out like a storyteller, and some things are better kept private, coz even though it hurts, it's still precious, coz it made me who i am today.

believe that every obstacle and the hardship are always to make us stronger. i have always believed in that. but the recent happenings made me believed in that even more.

i have always been a free-spirit, but practical. i flirt all the time, but it was always innocent, so people don't notice much. i don't waste time thinking about the nitty-gritty. i take the plunge, see if it's worth it and dive. if it's not, i get out as fast as i can. simple.

it worked all this while. when i thought about it again, i was downright cruel. yes, it worked for me, my side. i didn't give the other party a single thought, at all. i thought it was for the best. most of the time, i squeezed free, unscathed.

so, this time around, i put my guards down, get hurt in that process, and start all over again. i can be like an angel when i am nice, but i can hurt you like the devil if i am being cold and mean. so much that i wanted no heart feelings, but the logic here is, i go my own way. you want to come along, fine. but i won't take you or treat you nice. being nice period is over and your sorry doesn't mean anything, anymore.

wow, i sound so angry. well, that's after a time of enlightenment after so long being in a state of confusion. any kind of ship baffled me. i just don't get it. or maybe i haven't taken the time to have fun with it.

so, i'm taking a bow. i am not sorry your decisions made me go through all of this, i learned so much and become stronger than i thought. you are just one pathetic idiot who is not worth my time.

Monday, July 04, 2011

rasa em0

dah lebih dari 2 kali tersedar pepagi buta camni dan rasa tak best. yang buat lagi kelakar, sebab yang sama.

moga dibukakan hati, diberi petunjuk dan dijauhkan dari perasaan was was. hanya padaMu aku berserah dan meminta pertolongan.