Tuesday, March 29, 2005

the disastrous end of what was a good beginning

current y! status : it won't hurt if it wasn't pure
thinking of : the load of piles behind me

this is gonna be the last time i'll post my entry at number xx, ayer keroh using the phone number 23xxxx2. i won't live here ever again.

the 6 of us never had a clue that this will be our ending. never thought i'd end up here only with zura by my side. it was just so sad thinking of how we used to be so hated by other collegians of the extreme noise we made. how laser-mouthed all 6 of us were. how we just don't care about other people as long as we have each other. kenangan hanya boleh dikenang, takkan mungkin diulang.

you guys used to have a very special place here but, only for a mere mistake we were all separated.

to farrah : i knew you had no choice. she did make you cry but it wasn't right to punish her like that. forgive me for understanding you.

to sha : what goes up must go down. i guess now you know what you did to me felt. be a good wife to him cause that's the only thing i knew you're good at (other than tell-tale)

to bada : this one whole year is not enough to know you. i am glad i didn't. your selfishness caused you, us. just don't do that to your future friends, cause they might not be as patient as her.

to awei : what we had were utter heaven. i never had that kind of feeling till we lived together. and i never experienced hell like when you left me. thank you for leaving. cause i understand what true meaning of friendship was.

to zura : what we've got now is only each other. you taught me so much. we've been through so much. though it was only 2 years, i felt like i've known you a lifetime. looking forward to see you again. cause we're friends, FOR LIFE!

to the girls with boyfriends : you guys would be a lot better when you're out of the house and leave the 2 alone. see what happen when you interfere with them? you hurt yourselves.

i am desperate for a job now. i just want to make money now that i'm really free from any commitment for the next 3 months and a half. the interview i went to was a good expose though i couldn't commit as i'm a commitment-phobe (according to a close source =P). the job required me to sacrifice my chance to go for a degree though the money i'm gonna make is VERY tempting. the odd-working hours screwed me too. i gave up on 3 offers already. =(

somebody asked me to learn to cook during this looonng period. yea, i'm gonna do that. coz i'm gonna get married before you =P haha.

there are certain types of people that you'd want to meet even you've only known them for a short time. there are also the kind of people that even u've known them for a lifetime, you may never want to take the trouble to see them in person, though you may have many chances.

and suddenly, i felt sad.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

happy birthday, doinx!

current y! status : was my wait worthwhile with all the time i wasted?
thinking of : the tsunami i caused to my room wahaha!

my blog turned 1-year-old today. it is still an infant though it has evolved towards maturity.

my place to rant, my place to scream, my place to pour everything i felt. this is the place that saw everything in my life for the last one year.

it is sad to know that it has been a year already. i still remember the day i decided to blog. frantically searching for the best blog provider around. and here i am now, choosing blogger to host this little place of mine.

from the days when i have all the time in the world to blog to the days i can't even post a single word for a full month. it has experienced it all.

i've been constantly changing my blog skin and this is the one i connect to the most. the picture of my darling little angel. love you so much, baby!

so, a very happy birthday to my little blog. :D

Sunday, March 20, 2005

to go or not to go?

current y! status : that man is not meant for you. i'm sorry.
thinking of : the ipc course

oh. pardon my y! status these days. azwan and i were so obsessed with sepet that we put our y! status with its dialogues. speaking about sepet, its director, yasmin ahmad is a muar-born. fascinating fact. she is if you can remember, the director for those petronas commercials, "kenapa saya suka rumah saya" and my favourite "janda beranak tujuh".

i liked the way she answered of the responsibility to memartabatkan bahasa melayu. she said her responsibility is to memartabatkan perasaan manusia. hmmmm, an honest retort. the reason she did movies was she loved her family very much and decided to tell their story on the silver screen. sweet.

i'm damn bored. and i hate it when i have nothing to do but i can't sleep. i woke up early unlike my typical sundays and went out for breakfast. and i haven't been sleeping since. and as i couldn't force myself to sleep, i get many things done. i sent myself packing. just need a few small boxes for the little things i won't get rid of but didn't find any specific uses for them neither. sleepy.

i am not going to the ipc course. i'm not going to waste 150 bucks for a certificate that will get invalid in 2 years. ok i'll pay for something that will get invalid in 2 years AND i will be making full use of it. but it seems, by hook or crook i'm gonna continue my studies so even if i did pass the exam, i may not have the appropriate use for the cert. fixed.

actually this interview thang bothers me. i have so much to do but so little time with the course going on. so, i'm not ready for the course and the exam. i have to be ready for the interview and the stuffs i needed to settle. mental.

i wonder, if you know just how it feels to be left outside alone?

Saturday, March 19, 2005

under my skin

current y! status : i've waited for you far too long. so many things happened while i was waiting
thinking of : the guy who wasted his money on F1 grandstands and circuit girls.

i graduated already! my last paper was on thursday, that sucks. i just hoped that mr ho didn't let any1 of us to fail his paper.

i watched sepet that day, 2 times! it was an interesting movie. definitely not another boring malaysian movie. pardon me but i recommend u guys to get the vcd, instead of going to the cinemas. them finas folks wouldn't do the film any good. as for me, i got the made in masjid india's. wallawey, clear and full uncut. :P an honest expose of what malaysian culture is. whaaat? the movie is about a chinese illegitimate vcd guy who fell in love with a malay girl. so, it's not a boring lovey-dovey stuff. i'm not going to spoil the surprise. go and find your local vcd supplier , LOL!

oh, went to klcc that day. i brought along two, giggling teenage girls.

adik aku, cousin aku

my darling sister and my cousin, both turning 18 this year. i found laksa shack at the newly renovated picnic (i forgot to lookout for its new name) my, its laksa is terriblicious for terribly+delicious. its laksa johor is near perfection, though i forgot to ask my sister to change the spaghetti to the normal laksa. definitely a must try.

laksa johor

this was what i ate. it may look terrible, but it was almost as good as the laksa.

spaghetti marinara @ pizza milano

the day before that, i went to ana's sister's wedding. she said it was in seremban, but to our horror, we had to endure the spiral road windings of kuala pilah! but it was worth it. we made ana happy. at least her friends from here showed up, yea the least expected, me. hehehe.

us, before waiting for the bus.

us, after standing for a damned hour.

these are my little darlings.


oh yeah. been using my significant other's lumix. memang menghartanegarakan betul hahaha!

anyways, i have a course this monday on ipc stuffs. and a job interview on friday. what la. i have to rush to kl on thursday. people, i'm nervous, both for the ipc exam and the interview. the interview's gonna be in english. damn, i wished i didn't put THAT grade for my proficiency in english. shit la.

pray for me people and a friend's aunt whom undergo an operation today. =)

Saturday, March 12, 2005

the art of missing

current y! status : layan lemony snicket. best woi.
thinking of : bila rindu - ruffedge

entry kali ni, pakai bm yerk. aku rindu plak nak menulis dalam bm. hehe.

aku sibuk dengan final exam sejak 2 menjak nih. skang nih menggaru kepala tak tau nak wat pe sebab last paper ari khamis depan.

balik rumah jap tadi. saje nak jengah rumah nak tengok benda baru yang mak cakap semalam. mak datang sebab aku mintak mak datang. semalam, diorang sakitkan aku lagi. tak tahan sangat sampai aku mintak mak datang jugak. aku dah tak terkata apa. terkedu ada, tergamam pun ada. tapi yang aku tau, semalam aku dah putuskan aku tak kenal 3 ekor babi tu lepas aku berbakul2 aku maki diorang. tak guna berunding dengan orang bodoh, sebab kita pun jadi bodoh skali. aku diamkan je walaupun zura suruh aku bahasakan diorang balik.

aku ingatkan masih ada ruang untuk bermaafan. sekadar mengharap pada yang memang tak sudi. babi-babi sekalian, korang dah kene samak pun, aku tak sudi. korang bukan manusia sebab korang memang takde perasaan.

yang aku tahu skang, aku tengah teringat kat dia. ingat nak tanya pasal inter-mcd wall-climbing, tapi waktu aku datang tadi, o.c. ada, trus la kensel plan. tengok kete dia yang comel tu cukupla. kita akan rasa sakit bila orang yang kita suka tak bagi respon yang kita harapkan, tapi rasanya lagi sakit bila orang yang kita suka bagi respon yang kita harapkan tapi seolah-olah macam nak lari dari kita. camana ek?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


current y! status : 3 guys and a girl
thinking of : let's see. my 90% projects and him and mr g.

i got a pink rose today. not from him lah. but from bada. she was in the mood of flowers. and it touched me that it is my first rose, ever. thanks a lot, friend. (come to think of the original intention of buying the red rose given to him intentionally bought for her). i'm sorry. it was just you will never be as special as zura is to me. we've been through A HELL LOT together without you and will continue that way, insya-Allah.

i'm in my exams week. didn't feel that much of the study week though as i've tido tido tido been busy with constructing a new circuit for my projects. the lab wasn't open so i open my own lab. redesign the pcb layout again coz the kit's too small. did the lettering on the board. bought ferric powder, yea i did the etching by myself. found out oggy's drill not available. guess what? mom bought the drill set for me LOL. but couldn't be used as the one used for the board is very-very small and the drill can't hold it. so have to wait for syahrin's whom did a great job at forgetting to bring it everytime he went back.

that held me back for 3 days. solder the stuffs then the project sucks, again. big time. it won't even count. shit la. my favorite remark these days is pegila mati i just don't care. i'm gonna type a report about the failed project. i don't want to overdo troubleshooting like what i did the first time which cost me the presentation marks. hope my supervisor will sympathesize considering the first pcb could count though only half the digits can be displayed.

i was supposed to see her and submit the project today but couldn't locate her. she wasn't answering her phone and what good it would do if i couldn't find her if i went to main camp?

got a house already. i'm hoping that kutkm would be so kind to accept me for degree hahaha so i can work and pay for my ass. i'm gonna stay with an and the sisters. mom would kill me if she knew the real them, *laughs evilly*. i knew who they are, mom. i'm not gonna be like them. err... at least for now hahahaha!

been hunting around for anis' stuffs. what can i do to make her change her mind from pharmacy to medics?

me : why la ko tak nak amik medic nih? try je la

her : tak nak la. kesian kat orang yang kene operate tu, mesti sakit

me : mestila operate pakai anesthetic, ler. kan same je waktu ko operate katak waktu biologi tuh

her : mane same. operate katak tu main tenyeh-tenyeh je

yea. she was afraid she'd hurt people while my reason not to take pure science stream was that i was afraid i'd hurt the lab rats, LOL! it was just there's no real medical doctor in my family line. i'd like her to be the first. but i'd let her be. tak jadi pemuzik sudah.

just now, industrial electronics paper. tomorrow no paper. on the 10th, 11th and 17th. then, cuti sampai 22nd. 23rd masuk balik makan place, till zura call me for another work.

my status on ym? a friend questioned me flirting around. how about if one of em tersangkut? ah well, they're not at least for now, so i'm safe. i'm being nice to everybody. as i'm overly happy due to excessive sugar intake.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

temporary farewell

current y! status : fell in love with the 8th world wonder
thinking of : bits of this and that

it was a sad day, today. the fact that the industrial electronic's lab session was our last formal fit of the lab jacket. and submitting the girls' final project report was our last formal visit of the main camp. we created so many memories here. these past 5 months taught me the real feeling of being in a real campus. it was sad to leave. but i know i'll be back again, to send MY final project report, hehe.

last night, zura asked me of the last person i want to see before i leave this place for good. i said maybe mr g considering my softies towards him. then this afternoon, i saw this guy i've been longing to see without realizing it, dain. you can imagine my excitement and touched feeling. that is one last guy i want to see, coz i can never be near him or get to know him. i guess looking at him over at long distance is much better. that long lazy stride, THAT goatee, the innocent face, i memorize everything. goodbye to you, guy.

been a bit down. coz i hated it when i started to feel like a loser. why can't mr. g understand my calling service hours like D did? and why did he keep failing to keep his promises? i'm not tired to chase, i'm afraid you'd give in coz you're tired of being chased and that you'd hurt me. so..... i'd just do the lettering for my board for now, hehehe.

talked to fazik. relieved a little seeing him and kesh. i've been the faithful customer who'd order a chocolate sundae and sat at the long bench facing the counter. i missed working. i missed makiing customers. i missed service. i missed rushing for drive-thru. i missed closing center island. and of all this, after only 11 days not working.

GOD, give me a miraculous strength to carry on. assure me that everything will be fine.

a big HI for syazwan, mr accountant!