Monday, July 31, 2006


current y! status: s.i.c. with a k
thinking of: skipping class tomorrow

i read 2 of my friend's blogs and a similarity struck me. that i wasn't the only one feeling a bit down these days,

even when i wasn't mad with fazik anymore and can speak his gf's name clearly in front of him,

when i saw a lot of salleh than i could ask for,

when i saw a lot of potential to trust in others especially in pijal after 2 blind years, hehe,

when i have miserable thoughts of the seas,

when i thought about the time when i was blamed, when it was wrong to be single,

when it doesn't hurt anymore being alone,

coz being immortal isn't always about the ability to escape death and live forever. it is rather the ability to overcome what may, the strength to face the world, even when you have no one by your side, no one to protect you as you have the strongest wall to catch you when you fall, as soft that you realize you fell but because of the barrier you created, you come back up again stronger than ever. nothing can hurt you except death.


dear afan,

you made me realize why you had the kind of face when i first saw you. i understand the situation as best as i could, though you being through it took tremendous courage and feat. i'm glad our paths crossed. thanks for letting me know that first impression carried so much of what you are.


i didn't lie. i'm sorry i had to be the first after a few thoughts. not other numbers. coz the way i spelled my name here meant number one in german. coz i couldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

dirrrrty malaysians!

current y! status: 200 miles away from you
thinking of: my precious angel with chubby cheek

it was an okay early friday evening. i was driving the black maria behind another car , humming to the tunes from the radio when something disrupts my attention from driving.

i saw small bits of something flying towards my windscreen, then another. another passed. while i tried frantically to figure out what were those things and their origin, i realized angrily that they were initially not harmful though disgusting.

it was the skin bits of longans and its seed. no prize in guessing that they originated from the mouths of the stupid passengers of the car in front of mine. as i was pretty pissed with the disgusting act, i saw the same passenger holding out a bottle of water. this time to wash the hands from eating the longans. the water drizzled onto my windscreen. and the flying longans kept banging on my screen.

one thing about it was, it was like you ate them fruits and throw them onto someone else's face right from your mouth. it was downright rude. ok, so you don't think that was what you were doing but, at least take care of the cleanliness of your surroundings. you think the fruit was organic, it will rot away soon and became a part of the earth sooner than you think. but you didn't straight away bury them in but throwing them everywhere with hopes that the wind will blow them away.

next time, try wash your hands in a bowl of water and splash them on your friend. either you'll get a similar splash, a slap or something else. don't do things that you don't want others to do to you.

it's not only the cleanliness of your car that matters. it's the way you care about the environmwent you lived in coz it won't be long for it to be full with trash if we keep on throwing rubbish everywhere. start recycling, or if you find that hard, start with not throwing rubbish out of your car. keep them for dispose at nearby dustbin available. if you can't do that too, make sure that there's no car near the landing point of the seed.

it was lucky that i was driving. if i was riding my bike and was hit with those pebble-like longans, they would hear an earful from me. once, i had a driver who threw his cigar's stub onto my lap while i was passing his car at a traffic stop. i knew it was accidental but you can make a difference.

Monday, July 24, 2006

after the short break..

current y! status: hold on, if you feel like letting go
thinking of: the packed scheduled tomorrow

i've been constantly reminding myself that i shouldn't leave this place to rot, which i have been failing to comply. i was pretty busy with working and learning and having plans.

the sem is already in the third week. a packed one that is, though i am happy that monday class starts at 10 and no class after friday prayers. with the exception of tuesday 8am till 10pm, i am satisfied.

i had been planning for a 3-day-getaway with the girls but turned out they couldn't get away from work so we settled for a wet day at sunway. so, there we were, 15 of us screaming at the top of our lungs on the roller-coaster. we had so much fun, eh guys? can't wait for our next get-away.

we had our crew-picnic too at the beach. it was enjoyable though there was an unforgettable incident i wished i hadn't witnessed. i slept most of the time with airy breeze and shady trees hehe.

i donated blood the other day. my first time experience. it was technically painless and a simple process if not for these two incident:

1- Blood-pressure checkup

Doc : berat ni timbang tadi?

me : yep

Doc : are you having period now? (considering the big pimple i had then)

me : no

Doc : yet period?

me : no

Doc : coming soon?

me : yes

Doc : you're not yet period and still 50kg?(in a shrieking voice). girl, you're not up to the ideal BMI (i'm 19) blablabla... considering your so small size (with distaste), we'll only take a small bag.

2- The big moment

Nurse 1: dik, akak tak dapat cari awak punya urat ni. halus sangat.(while slapping hard at my arm to find the nerve).

finally she did find one, jabbed it and as i relieved, a few seconds later,

Nurse 2: eh, ni tak boleh ni. tengok dah bengkak ni.(i watched with horror as my arm was swollen around the jab). cepat cabut.

and i had to go through the same process as i had to change to the right arm as they couldn't find the right nerve on my left. so, i was left with two jabs on both arms. the funny thing was, the right arm which they took the blood from was fine but the mistaken nerve arm had an ugly bruise as my sister called it, internal bleeding. and it has been spreading like a virus making me look like an abuse victim hahaha!

the nurse made a joke out of my rather petite figure, noting that this whole thing might give me the chance to gain weight. well, that explains my wolfish hunger these days.