Monday, February 28, 2005

it is 1.30am

current y! status : I LOVE DREAMWEAVER! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
thinking of : encik d. encik g. encik d. encik d. encik d. encik d. encikkkkk D!
listening to : peter pan - bintang di surga ... loop forever.

for omar :

it has been a while since i last heard you. but it was a big relief when i did. i don't know why.

glad you understood every piece of crap i told you about. touched knowing that you're still there, ready to catch me everytime i fall. happy to know that life's been good for you.

i couldn't care less if he didn't return what i felt, back. but i do know that through that time, you're going to be just where you are, ready to be the wet-blanket.

i'm not going to say thanks, coz even with a million of it i still couldn't convey my gratitude. you're worth much more than that.

coz you're a rare gem, found in the darkest and hardest part of the earth.

been blessed that our paths crossed.

with all the love in the world,

the omar i know.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

utter blank

current y! status : *squeeze* *stares* *clicks*
thinking of : *squeeze* argh, my projects. *squeeze* *fiddles hand*

zura came home on friday, so we decided to lepak at our local playground - subaidah. it already rained heavily when i arrived to pick her up. i was already half-soaked. so, after waiting for a while at her house, we decided to ride out.

the place was jam-packed with bois watching a ball being chased and then to be kicked again. and right after we settled down with zura and bada, the rain poured again heavily, drenching my helmet. the heavier the rain gets, more people came pouring in. macam nak pecah tempat tu. we got stuck there till 3am. by then, dah berbakul2 gelak tak ingat dunia, mengumpat, tengok hunks orang.

when we got home, we've got this night screening of my sassy girl, the sequel of the popular movie windstruck. halfway, bada fell asleep leaving me with both zuras. then i realized, i can be anywhere with these two. i didn't regret one single bit when my roommate left me coz them filled the space. as long as they are with me and not shunning me out of their lives, i'd be fine. a night spent with these 2 beautiful people.

some people may misunderstood what i've written here. i found it amusing coz i realized the way i wrote may just exaggerate little things. but things would not be that special if everything had to be written clear. so, it's up to you to understand my writes. and even if it's not from the way i understand it, i couldn't care less. i'm an open-source supporter, remember? hahahahaha!

my friend called it kaedah pemangsaan eine. so when i applied the technique, he'd ask, sape mangsa terbaru ko nih? the prey is a guy i've been eyeing for the last 2 years but didn't have that much of a chance till now. err... i mean earlier this semester. all i can say is, i'm pretty much occupied. :P

i'm in the mood for a good squeeze of someone's hand. bad.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

a week of hell

current y! status : *sighs* peter pan *sighs*
thinking of : him. no other.

these past week had been one of the busiest days of my life. ask final year students, they knew. i want to write sooner, but just couldn't steal time to sneak up here and write.

my project suck, big time. i had to start from scratch. again. yes, people. going through the long process of lettering, etching, drilling, soldering and endless troubleshootings. again. anyways, been lucky coz my supervisor's been lenient with it. gonna start asap coz final's just around the corner.

a friend commented that i shouldn't gave him a flower on valentine's day. should've given something guy-ish instead. (hint: bugs, centipedes, beetles). well i think it was fair coz he gave me the bolded former quoting it as a valentine's gift the day before that. and i made an innocent looked face siap tanya lagi "apa nih?" when he shoved the lidded cup to my face when i was supposed to go screaming. hahaha. i guessed he showed it to the wrong girl.

i'm already off-schedule. it has been sad to go back after the last day's shift (with him). knowing that i may not be able to come back there and work. so sad. to leave him LOL!

*sniffs* i miss my family. i cant go back, even when my family lives the same distance as my main camp.

p/s : the songs used to be the keys of d and e. now i add g to it. details later. now, i've got a draft to attend to. by the way, happy new hijri year!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

after a short hiatus..

current y! status : if u cud give me just one love, one life n one chance to believe in mine
thinking of : my damndest projects.

this past holiday season made me cuti from blogging. i swear i'm online all the time. ask those peeps in ym, they knew.

my feelings? like what zura said "ko tuh bukan leh caye. kejap je dah tuka." ma lady, that is so true. but this time it is different. maybe the fact that i'm not in that teen-age anymore (though i claimed to be one all the time) and that person is one gay old man. hahaha!

something happened made me thought about this all over. so, why not if the feelings want to go this way or that, just take a deep breath and let it go where it wanted? coz it wasn't that simple. matters of the heart is something you don't have full control over. it is also something i hated, coz it bothers me. bad.

but again, i love my family. though i can never be me, they're one place who won't turn or close doors on my face. thanks zura, for making me realize deeply the true meaning behind the saying blood is thicker than water.

i want to enjoy this few days of working. i want to eat as much as i can.

and the saying goes,"banyak makan mengeraskan hati."

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

take it or leave it

current y! status : love you, even when u made that fucked-up face. love you, even when u ignored me entirely. love you, when u threw me that longing gaze. love you, whole!
thinking of : my stupid boss

i excused myself from work today. last night worked with him counting the stocks for end-of-month. with sai fong in store i couldn't help but ignore him completely. though that was the moment i've been waiting for. been missing him for the last one week. =( he was in the mood to talk but i kept my gaze straight and didn't even looked up to him which i was sure he noticed. don't want to build my confidence too much though it was a doubt if this will pass. a provoking thought each time i got involved soft. hehe.

got out of the store at 1. talked to fazik as the night before. we were chattering happily when kesh got out and asked us to help him replace the new price hike for breakfast items. after finishing that, fazik and i were about to leave when again, kesh asked us to help him with the heat-treat ; washing the ice-cream & shake machine. when all of the parts were washed, i could barely hold my eyes open as it was 5 already. he went back at 3.45 as he had meeting at 10.

me? i got class at 9 but learning to do heat-treat is one chance of a blue moon. and that chance to learn missed me my day-wage. could hardly wake up at 9, with full class up to 6. bawak motor pun cam orang mabuk je, mengagau tak tentu pasal. was really tired and after informing kesh personally, i went back and slept till 12am. now, i'm still sleepy.

yesterday went on cd hunt. now i'm thinking of when's the time to watch those 11 cd's i boronged?

*sighs* i missed him, terribly. i couldn't announce my fondness openly. luka tersagat tempat fry ayam sakit sebab berdarah, camna nak cakap pasal luka yang tak berdarah tapi sakit? sakit sampai rasa setengah hidup je. separuh penuh. kepala tahap masuk air longkang. mana mau dicari bahagia?