Saturday, July 31, 2004

the order of streamyx

tell me tell me baby
how come you don't wanna love me
don't you know that i can't breathe
without you
tell me tell me just how
why can't you love me?

nsync - tell me tell me baby

my workplace is driving me nuts. not the place. the people i'm working with.

1- conflicts with morning shift crews
2- stupid managers cutting down salaries

i can handle it if they'd just keep shut when i'm around. the fact that they dragged me in the conflict. i heard things. and right now, i'm thoughtless. i cannot think especially when kazman throw me that killer grin. shit! that guy's a real short hearthrob. anyways, i've been good friends with the night people: kesh, zura, zand, popai, syeedee and not forgetting uhum...kazman hehe. these guys really made my day.

next week's the final week before the first half of the semester ends. 2 major tests and 2 long reports to be submitted on the same day. i wish i had more time. at this moment, i'm not sure if i actually felt anything.

coz now, i want to see that familiar face of that particular someone, to have him listen to me, to tell me that everything's alright and that i want to break down and hug him hard, in his consoling arms. but he's not here.... nowhere near.. (haha! poyo nyer ayat.)

i am trying hard. but khaleel's trying to get my attention again. it's driving me crazy. i mean, how would you feel when one of your closest friends on whom you had a crush on started to shy away after he hooked up with one of your friends. mad? maybe understanding. but after he broke up with her, he started on you, expecting things to go exactly like before. hey come on la. you dumped her. hadoiii.

to that someone, if we managed to make it through your birthday, you'll be surprised. *grins*

actually i want to put up a missing person's advert. where is dino?

p/s : just gotten hold of streamyx today. after exactly 2 months.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

them all are finks!

today is what i call a rather not so typical day. why? coz i'm hearing things in my head. thoughts that needed to be heard and cried out.

saturday :
it was nearing 11 and all left were a beef burger and a filet in the product bin. customers kept pouring in and i was worried. i was the order-taker for the drive thru. (ehem! i've been order-taker as long as i can remember). my manager gave the instruction of the customers should wait if they really wanted the product.

i took that for granted and what did i get? a rude shout from vicky. in front of the customers. that really disrupted my mood, though he apologized later, after a bucketful of cries. haha.

sunday :
kasman changed shift with vicky so he worked in the afternoon as i was. relieved to see that familiar and grinning face of his and zura (this is another zura, please!) of weeknight shift. really, i'm getting fonder of him. feels so at work wit his familiar gestures of getting in and out of the cooler and the freezer.

picked kak an and the gang up at melaka sentral. drove like chasing the devil out of me. i was alone and i don't fancy getting into a slow ride alone, i could fall asleep while driving after finishing my shift at 6.

called dino up. i thought he was missing in action after a few unanswered calls and voice mails. really, i've had bad thoughts. missing cellphone, 'bateri kong' (as my case hahaha!), or the more intriguing thought, hmmm....??? glad he was there.

trying to finish my electronics application lab report. i left awei doing the answers after finding the resources on the net ( sucks! where's streamyx, dammit?)

monday :
missed two classes. on purpose. needed to finish the lab report.
the lab was cancelled. and the report could be submitted tomorrow's night. i felt like an idiot missing two classes early in the semester.

the lab will be on tomorrow night and i had to excuse myself from work. this time, for real! this weekend we'll be having a biro tata negara camp for those who'll be graduating next year. aiyohh!! another three days wasted 60 bucks!

now if you'll excuse me, i want to write my emergency leave letter. :Þ

Monday, July 12, 2004

hard times...

this sad entry was supposed to be of last night, when i last blogged here.

i drove kak an's car to work as i was sending a rack that awei bought to tasik utama. parked the car at my usual spot. got out of the store at 12.40pm revving up the engine while talking to my fellow colleagues. after bidding each other farewell, i saw the cats' mother in front of the car, and i started to wonder where were her 3 kittens? no signs of them. so i kinda took for granted that her kittens may be out in the bushes.

slowly i reversed the car when suddenly i noticed a large bump of a big hole or something, where did that bump or hole came from? to my horror, i saw a kitten, badly bleeding, her head smashed revealing the insides and blood. i ACCIDENTALLY ran over it!

i saw it. i saw with my own eyes how it fought the pain and rolling from side to side when it gave in, dead. i almost cried when the shock overtook me coz the mother kept licking at her dead kitten. i froze all the way home.

it felt sad that only the night before that i bothered to name the 3 kittens. and the cutest of them all was killed.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

my apologies...

i am really sorry i haven't been updating this for a very long time. record tuhh. sebulan tak update hehe. anyways, the semester already begun and assignments are getting longer and longer. and work keeps getting to me often.

i wrote a page or two for this blog but haven't had the chance to upload it here. awei's scanner just sucks. huhuhu. and i'm using her pc too. my modem is problematic. and streamyx is not even up yet.

my life these days is about getting up in the morning (on time!! which i had the trouble to recently), getting to class, be conscious enough to be in class, eat lunch, be in lab, completing workshops, get back, ready for work, work and back again, half asleep and sleep and the same routine again. boring eh? what to do? have to pay the bills, have to maintain myself coz the demands kept getting higher each time (clothes, streamyx, errr makeups? hahahaha! i'm saving for a new hdd lohh)

if i got the time, i'll upload the piece i've written during a tutorial hahaha. just wanna say hi to dino. thanks for dropping by.