The mythical place

Initially, I don't look forward to go. I even intended to cancel, even though I have paid for everything.

My soul wasn't in it. But I dragged on. And yes, as much as the place is an eye opener, I would rather be home.

note to self;

Don't go, if your heart is not in it.

And prolly, I need to socialize more.

The most important thing I learnt, travel is best done when you have a clear mind. No expectations. And be happy, whatever the place is.

posted from Bloggeroid

Did you know?

Someone else made me smile today.

I was hoping it would be you.

But i guess you were too busy to even say hi.

Did you know that a simple hi from you would make my day?

I guess you don't know that.

Still on my decision.

Just wait and see.

posted from Bloggeroid

How i spent my new year's eve

I was sick since last Tuesday. By Thursday i was sneezing non stop.

And my body gave in on Friday. I was sweating profusely and my head felt like it was gonna split. By night i was already home alone.

The next day i was still nursing my fever and flu. I stayed in bed the whole day and decided to tether the network from my phone since the house network got no signal.

I streamed love actually and watched it to the end. I was downright sick and was poking fun at all the characters. Maybe i should watch it again.

I told my bestfriends that i was home alone and hungry. They arrived after an hour to pick me up.

We got to the shop just before the fireworks. I was busy stuffing myself with rice so i didn't watch the fireworks.

I was ecstatic that i spent my new year with my bestfriends. In lonely, sick and hungry times, they came to the rescue. Very happy i was and i don't get to be happy a lot these days.

So guys, thanks. I appreciate it. =)

I am still sick btw.

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What hurts the most

That i can never say goodbye.

That this heart knows you with each beat.

The courage to go on seems harder because there's you tying me back.

What is it that you want from me? There is no so-called friends with benefits. I didn't give you that privilege.

I am not sorry that i offer you all of me. I am in this for you to win me back.

It's all or nothing.

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Kecil hati

To tell the truth, i didn't remember you didn't wish me for my birthday this year on that day itself. I got wishes from my family and close friends, and i was happy with that.

Then you wished me a belated one. Two days later. You know what i felt? Surge of anger that came out of nowhere.

You never failed to wish me, every single year. And when you missed this year, sighs.

Yes, you had reasons that made me go, you know what, forget it. Maybe it is time to reassess my expectations.

This time, i don't deserve a timely birthday wish. And as much as it saddens me, it is the harsh reality i have to live with since you have other important priorities.

posted from Bloggeroid

Ini aku

Saat ku tulis ini, laju air mata mengalir. Sedaya upaya aku tahan.

Tapi mungkin perasaan meluap sudah tidak mampu ditanggung.

Menangislah. Biar teduh sendu perangkap jiwa.

Hati, usah peduli. Kelak terbakar diri sendiri.

Sayangkan kamu, rindu dendam penuh di jiwa. Kasih yang satu, tegar jangan kecewa.

posted from Bloggeroid

Death and loss

It is indeed a sad week.

Will update the chronological event soon.

Allahyarham my dad,
5th June 1954 - 5th December 2011

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joy and sorrow

it has been a long time since we last met.

i had fun.

i laughed like nobody's business.

and it kills me.

it kills me coz i have forgotten how it was.

i have forgotten how you are.

i have forgotten how easy it was for me to just fall. again.

i have forgotten how it feels.

i forgot.

but it is all coming back to me now like a huge tidal wave crashing over my body.

please. i beg.

posted from Bloggeroid

indescribable

at times like this, i wish i can paint or draw. coz words have to make sense. i can't write asdkjvdhct and expect people to understand. but i don't wanna be understood. i just want to let things out.

maybe i shall buy that big box of crayon i have been eyeing for a long time.

p/s: i love this camwhore pic of me. i didn't have a choice as i travel alone lest trust people with my valuables. coz i have those ray of light that just made my face sparkly. lol.

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lonely loner

i am just sad.

please.


la tahzan.

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