Wednesday, December 29, 2004

of gifts and curses

current y! status : what good a date is if he doesn't turn up?
thinking of : you slammed a door, you get a pissed bitch with a stupid boyan scarf *muahahaha*

i didn't work today, ended my 5 days off work, purposely taken for my cousin's wedding. whoa, kalah pengantin cuti kekeke. been slightly rushing as my streamyx had been barred x bayar punya pasal i just want to drag things coz i'd be spending a bomb on my phone bills if the line was ok again. thinking of the sum i've been paying, i could get myself a decent lumix or even a good camera-phone. what's done is done lah.

so, what's up lately. friday i went out with the other zura to jusco, surveying things up and then went all around the world to pay my telekom bills. mommie came pick me up around 8pm. the original idea was that i'd go to bahau for the nikah and such. but as i've been on high fever and coughs, i cancelled the plan. my specially tailored kebaya wasn't finished yet on friday so we'd go back to muar the very next day.

saturday, went to my manager's house. his sister was getting married. back at home at 7 and mommie told me, my kebaya wasn't finished yet. i was having a headache. another night at home when we should've been in muar already.

sunday, this and that we got to muar at 7. we headed south early monday. reached jb around 11. been driving but gave up halfway. tired. the trip back, i drove the second half. mommie was too sleepy.

the cancelled plans were caused by mommie's hesitation coz her father, my grandfather is very ill. and the mood to actually celebrate the newlyweds just fade away. to make things worse, my granma had been snapping at everything that walks. i understood her though not completely. to actually stuck at home and not going is something, especially when the groom is your first grandson.

so, i thought i could be meeting my long time no see friend of 3 years. but he didn't manage to. and that was the final blow. with all the happenings around me, what could be worse, i wonder? it was so close, yet too far. reachable but .... there's always another time, people say. big, social gatherings aren't my stuffs anymore. neither one on one. geez, i'm getting old.

by the way, thanks for all the birthday messages. it was warming to become a 19 year-and-12 month old hahaha. i will still be a classy 19. i've been spending on christmas stuffs, celebrating my now age 2. bought 2 small cute snowmen and a holly wrath to hang on my door. oh, nabbed some jusco's christmas decos. LOL. wasn't it good to have your birthday on a holiday and with decorations to go with it? bliss, it is. owwww, my nose's leaking.

selamat pengantin baru abang zul & kak siti.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


current y! status : gifts and curses
thinking of : unfinished report

i felt bored working today. zura, kasman and popai were resting today. ida maki shahrul tadi. just because he was complaining about ayu taking orders for unprepared products. that woman i tell you, is waiting for her ultimatum. just because she is the 1st assistant doesn't mean she's that powerful. enough of her lah.

i got 93% service for gapbuster's moment of truth. it always happen when i seldom be the order-taker and those gapbusters always came during that time. i failed in suggesting the dessert and the presenter's late in giving the products. he/she wrongly spelt my name to ann, instead of ain. fadzel told of how hamidee would cry foul that i failed the second test. the first one, was worst 44%. the second one, not getting 100% just because not suggesting dessert and the late service. i missed the big hamper promised for 100% gapbuster. cheh.

i already got the pictures ready! wow! i looked terribly different and come to think of it, a bit scary hehe. and the picture of me and him. zura teased me that i'd put the pics in my purse. hehe. well, we'll see. :P

i saw dain today! i've been looking all over for him and luck was on my side this afternoon. i just want to look over him, that's it. enough. coz he belongs to someone else, that's it. how lucky you are girl, that he chose to be engaged to you.

have class at 9.

Sunday, December 19, 2004


current y! status : my worst pains are words i cannot say, still i will always fight on for you
thinking of : how to get my bike back?

this past week had been a helluva activities.

december 9th, thursday : busy with mr ho's proposal. slept at 5am.

friday : woke up early to submit the proposal. rode to main camp with zura. sent her back and off to my parent's house. scrubbed the house clean, went shopping with mom for tomorrow's open house. drove to tesco and pick zura up. got back at 1am. slept at 3.

saturday : woke up early to wet market for today's masak-masak. went back and did the fish. settling the house. my first guest at 5pm was oggy and his housemates, particularly ghaffar, :P. after they went back, thought of having a nap but went out to buy some more stocks for tonight's guests. ayah nyen and his family came, banishes my mood to sleep. my last guest and particularly the most awaited, 16 mcD crews from jusco and my store at 2am. they swiped the food clean, much to my relief (banyak woo sape nak abiskan). and i only managed to sleep at 4am. he didn't manage to come though he sounded of coming likely coz his car was accidental.

sunday : cleaning the house. macam kemas rumah lepas kenduri. work at 3pm. left the store at 11pm. continued my stuffs, slept at 3am.

monday : woke up for class. this is the day. was worried with the car. luckily, mom sent her over here. didn't manage to sleep. took my bath and left zura to paint my face. getting ready for the dinner. yep! that much awaited mcD's annual dinner. drove to pick zura and the bois. arrived at emperor's at 7. there he was at the registration counter, gawking at this transformed plain girl to a cinderella. hey! zura told me this ok? LOL. i mean, i didn't even bother to smear some powder while at work and i came over there looking like some classy heeled executive? *hoh* but i swore i saw his admiring eyes everytime i caught him staring at me.

after the dinner, went to subaidah with them till 3-somethings. slept at 5am.

tuesday : class at 9. settling all those whatnots. those bitches made zura cry after she stand out. zura and i took a retreat at the lake after labs. poor zura. it was just hurting that all who befriends me would have to endure pain as the consequences. again i slept out late after supper in subaidah.

wednesday : class at 9, again. been driving all this while. had to send mr soo's tutorial. planning to go to jusco. we were damn hungry. on the way back, bada called. she just couldn't stand the pain anymore. end of story, she was admitted to icu. sampai jusco, makan macam orang gila. work again, slept at 4am.

thursday : class at 9. slept all the way through class. doing lab sessions. finding components for my final project. the shops were all closed. aiyo. went back with zura. work again. drove back to jasin at 2 somethings after sending cassandra and zura home.

friday : out of the house at 9am. goin to kl today. went to jalan pasar, pudu the electronic components haven. shopping crazy, wandering from one shop to another. late lunch at klcc. then straightaway to gombak as zura is not well.

saturday : out of my unc's house by 1pm. caught a bus at 3.50pm. arrived at mcD's at 6pm. borrowed fadzel's bike and gone to take my uniforms. work till closing.

phew! only yesterday i did manage to get more sleep hours. :D i missed him lah. he was on leave.

and mom quoted this "makin kurus, makin kecik baju ko pakai" ehem! i'm getting thinner! makan hati mane nak gemuk. i mean, working in mcD should've put some of its toll on me like on the other zura. my jeans are getting flabby. *sighs* getting to know those bitches made some closed wound to bleed again.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

a bit of, lifeless

current y! status : kebenaran terbukti, benarkah aku bersalah andai puncanya kamu?
thinking of : the open house


i'm just speechless with these days happenings. turned my world upside down and i could barely hold that full brim. they weren't just worth it.

i just can't like them anymore. those idiots bitches assholes stupid people boleh pegi mati. all you did was hurt me. what's wrong with me? did i ever hurt you? did i use your belongings? did i kill your cat? did i torture you with nasty words?

all i did was being myself, and you found me guilty as charged. zura asked me, why didn't they like to be friends with us? coz we won't be what they want us to be, zura. that's the problem.

i found some shocking truths and it made me really scared. they were so cruel. so cruel. and they were pathetic. knowing these backstabbers made me wanna laugh. those idiots, they just didn't learn don't they?

for my x-roomie:
i want to sort things out but we don't go the same way. so if they decided to dump you, don't look back and cry to me. coz i was that piece of sh!t you thought you'd have to ditch.

people, was i giving them space to hurt me? coz it wasn't worth it to deal with dahla bodoh, sombong plak tuh. i'm damn straight. i say what i want to say and when i want to say it.

thanks adul. you made me realize something i've left this past 2 months. though we barely knew each other, you did that for me and i'm grateful i've got the chance to know you. :D

Saturday, December 04, 2004


current y! status : usai sudah semua, ku dapat tertawa ria
thinking of : those fookin unsettled stuffs. *bzzzrrttt*

i got this from shad's blog.

Capricorn - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You are serious about relationships and ready for a commitment.You tend to help your partner attain the success they dream of.You are a rock. Relationship problems don't seem to phase you.

Your negative traits:

Sometimes it's very hard for you to accept your partner's past. You are emotionally reserved, and difficult to connect with. You expect your partner to take care of you - and make cheat if they do not

Your ideal partner:

Is incredibly powerful and well respected.Is often older than you - and could be a superior at work.<--- dint this sounded VERY familiar? *muahahaha* Has a good amount of money... or the ability to be rich someday. <--- i am just plain materialist *hoh*

Your dating style:

Practical. A "get to know each other" coffee date is just fine by you.

i couldn't get up from bed this morning. too tired when i should've gone to see my supervisor for the project stuffs. despite the fact that i've to submit the proposal this monday, i was too lazy to ride to main camp still not briefed with the circuits i'm gonna do. 3 digits up counter module sounded very interesting.

and this is going to be my final year project :

it will count up from 0 to 999 and if i have enough time, i'll figure out how to count down hehehe.

but havin problems with the circuits to choose from. i've got 2 designs whereas one looked very simple but didn't have the pcb layouts. the other looked a bit of difficult with complex wirings but comes complete with pcb layouts for the proposals. hmmm, i had to study a bit more.

so, today was spent with wondering alone in jusco instead of goin to mahkota parade with the other zura tak boleh bangun nye pasal makan kfc nye garden salad, sedap nyerrr... you guys know that veggies are the love of my life, such heaven. hehe.

btw, stopped by at times, lookin at some books i'm aiming.

- eoin colfer - artemis fowl no 2 & 3 trilogy
- any 1 of john grisham's
- dan brown - da vinci's code <-- this one is gonna be a major motion picture starring tom hanks. so it's either best-selling dan brown's or artemis fowl. :P it's been a while since i read some serious stuffs apart from studies. i bought anak toyol jack-jack today. it giggles when phone rings. something like wee wee wee, tanak tanak tanak in a very merry tone.

cute jack-jack.

jack-jack had been one of the best-selling compared to his incredibles mom and dad with people queuing to buy him yesterday as it comes on timely basis. and only one case left just after 2 days. his blinking light mom and dad are boring. i like anak toyol him better. pijal bought 4 for his friends. LOL.

i'm gonna buy this on the 9th

and this on the 16th

i forgot to buy incredimobile for my baby that day. sold out already. huhuhu. very the canggih mobile. i'm going to look out in kotamas or jusco and soon seng plaza.

for those who ordered small mcvalue set, i'm sorry to tell you it is no longer available effective december 1st. gone with nasi ayam mcD and even ayam goreng crispy. go spicy!

Friday, December 03, 2004


current y! status : i'm tired with things you say, driving me away
thinking of : all of the stuffs to be settled by tomorrow

i looked like a piece of wreck today. last night's effect of lepaking with closing team at subaidah. boy's treat. got home at 3 something to wash my uniform and a bath. slumber at 4. had to drag myself to get up at 8 or i'd be late to main camp.

out from the house at 835. didn't have the mood to talk to the girls. kept mostly to myself. talking only when i was being asked. i just hate waking up from sleep with the first thought of him instead of my usual i'm late for class!!!!!!!!! it made me feel stupid and numb. in class, i was silent with having deep thoughts about him. even when mr ho was busy lecturing and i was in between drowsiness and wake, i saw him instead of mr ho. like i was drunk and having visions.

i felt stupid and the all-time feeling, pain. i wanted to cry because it hurts, hurting me. i wonder how could he cause so much effect on me when we barely see each other and it's only a month. he touched me in a way that made me feel protective. bah! this craps made me sick. it will pass, eine. it WILL pass!

the other night, closing team went to our vip (not 'that' VIP) yusuf's open house near pandan. he was doing the end-of-month stock counting. and that was one of the days i get to see him. coz his shift is always in the morning. vicky didn't know the way to yusuf's house so i'd have to ask him coz he's the only one who knows. so there i was, sitting in front of him, listening as he drew the map with a mechanical pencil. as i was absorbing the info, and pointing at certain landmarks on the map with my little finger, suddenly he jabbed my finger with the point of the pencil, causing me to scream sakitla, bongok in pain. he just laughed and not even said sorry, that jerk. that meant, he was playing around, a sign of fondness. hmm... a good sign, lol. he wasn't able to join us much to my disappointment relief.

yusuf's house was crammed with jusco's crews as his wife is first assistant manager there. some delicious laksa and mee goreng topping it all with a numbing cold sirap sedap. lepak-lepak after jusco boys were gone till late 3somethings.

i've been spending more time with the crews nightly. a drink or two at subaidah and balik melepak tido. but i'm happy.

mom's in ipoh already. gonna pick anis up. just finished her spm. then they're heading down to kl. i wish i'd gone but have to settle so many things. mom called me from ipoh when i woke up from my nap telling they're already in my aunt's house. when i told her about wanting to go, she said something that i'd never thought she would say. something like "habis, dah kerja nak buat camane? kalau x nak kerja, berhenti je" the former made me felt that she respected the fact that i worked, something she rarely show. hehe.

i'm being ignorant. and it tore me to do just that especially to the ones i cared very much about. boleh pegi mampus i just don't care. i've got more to deal with than care about what you think about my attitude. so, i'd care when, with whom i want to. deal with it. i can never satisfy you so you're not happy with with what i am, then so long suckers.