Friday, April 27, 2007

a completely unrelated post



have you ever felt confused with human behaviours and expressions? yea, like the genius christopher boone in curious incident of the dog in the night-time, but of course his was in fact related to his disorder.

i can tell when someone is angry, or happy by watching the micro-minute expression on someone's face. even telling someone is lying down flat on his back when i listen to his drawl on the phone. it's freaky he said, since he didn't tell me that fact. i couldn't help it, though i might not admit it, i am very much an observer. see, make judgement think, take note and say (if anything need to be said). well, my taking note isn't like harriet the spy's, furiously scribbling on notebooks. it's mental.

but, i really couldn't understand when someone told me a long-time friend hates me. the source is a reliable one and not the kind who'd make up stories just to impress. i am puzzled and confused. i couldn't care less if someone hates me, but if it's someone i've known for so long, even had a crush on once, there must be something wrong somewhere. coz he was the kind i failed to read, the emotionless people. lack of emotions he covered it with his nice, helpful ways and never was lokek with his things. it was something in his demeanour that puzzled me now and then that comes home when the truth was told. i am not angry, just felt like a foolish fool, why didn't i see it all this while?


it is indeed my last day of internship. i felt relieved coz no more waking up early ( i hate to leave my bed in the morning! ) why is internships always a nightmare? it's not that it was my first-time anyway. either it's the work or the people around it. that's why i didn't cooperate.

i'll be back to write my report coz my pc refused to be on good terms with me, hence, he shuts himself down. the last time also the same thing, duting my diploma year, when i'm on the brink of writing my report, just like this time. *sheesh* the report!


what will you do when you hear your footsteps and your thoughts louder than when someone is screaming at you? the sound just keep ringing in your head. trust me, it sure drives you crazy. no, it wasn't the impact of hearing loud bangings of mr rob bourdon on full throttle through the headphone. it was something that popped up from the past. (cheh!) so, i don't mind you screaming at me for now, but keep your face expression to a minimum, oke? don't look like i-just-pissed-on-you-pissed kind of look, but please be nice to a deaf person, will ya? hahahaha.


pc mogok so i'll be in touch much later. rightqta2x.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

mood for love

love from means :

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness

i watched jane austen's pride and prejudice yesterday on hbo. i actually have its pirated one but didn't manage to watch it (gosh! it was already a year since i bought it, shit!).

i read the classic when i was 15. though i struggled to understand the twists and turns of the english used in it, i was enthralled and caught up with the love of proud mr darcy and the outspoken elizabeth bennet, better known as lizzie. i even wished for my own mr darcy at that time.

having watched the movie, my understanding of the book becomes somehow passionate as i got to see the love portrayed in the book comes to live. about a man in love and would do anything for the love of his life, including saving a girl from disgrace after eloping with a man by marrying them, even in he had to bribe the man to marry the girl. the girl happens to be lizzie's younger sister. this forced lizzie to see another side of an arrogant and aloof man she became to love.

you don't get to see mushy love scenes, coz those are absolute no-no back in 1797, the year the story took place. i'm not a good reviewer, so i'll just end this entry with the dialogue at the end of the movie which took place ath mr darcy's residence.

mr darcy : it is a very lovely evening, my dear.

lizzie : don't call me my dear. that's what my father calls my mother when he's angry with her.

mr darcy : then what should i call you?

lizzie : you shall call me, lizzie for everyday, my pearl for weekends and my love for special occassions.

mr darcy : when i'm angry, shall i call you mrs darcy?

lizzie : no. you shall call me mrs darcy when you feel happy, when you're so in love, when you feel content, when you mean it.

mr darcy : mrs darcy (showers lizzie with kisses)... mrs darcy... mrs darcy.


i'm such a hopeless romantic sometimes, sheesh! i found my own mr darcy some time after that. though my adventure never quite come close to lizzie's nor the ending itself.

love is when you can overcome your pride and held your prejudice. that's what lizzie and mr darcy did, hence the title. first impressions never really captures a human as a whole. sometimes you get the mirror, instead of the real persona.

i still love the book anyway. the way mr darcy wrote love letters to lizzie would be very formal to today's era of openness in affection and desire but still full of affection and love that would move you. it leaves me wondering err.. wanting anyway, the gentleman who is wealthy and an archetype of the aloof romantic hero, hahaha. no wonder mr darcy recently topped a survey in the uk of fictional characters with whom most women would like to go on a date, beating such creations as bond and superman.

Monday, April 23, 2007

complaints comments on today's headlines

  • 4.9 juta yang layak mengundi masih belum berdaftar

.... including me. call me and the rest of the qualified voters ignorant. but since i became legal, i didn't come across any spr promo booths anywhere within my lepak places. come to think of it, maybe my hours of lepaking didn't quite clash with THEIR promo time period *ngeh*

seriously, if i were to pangkah for my favourite candidate, i'd be stuck in the voting booth thinking of which might bring the most to my town or i'd do undi rosak a tick instead of a cross coz cracking my head up over 2 strangers definitely will damage my poor brain cells.

instead, it's easier to vote for the cuteassst AF student. never mind his/her rubbish not-up-to-standard performance. ogy can eat her own words! it's more nerve-wrenching to see aznil's gimmicks and words on the identity of the kicked out ousted student than to count the race on who's going to voice your opinions and complaints to the right channels.

so, get yourself registered. watch out for the soon-to-be elections, accept all those kain pelikat/kain batik, be happy with the new jalan berturap tar on the God-knows-how-long muddy full of potholes as big as a tyre pay special attention to the propagandas, vote for your yb. if your voted yb wins, make sure he/she doesn't makan gaji buta by realizing those promised propagandas. that should be it.

  • kereta lebih 15 tahun dilupuskan

..... not! oh, come on. 2 cars that i regularly use are: vic is as old as i am and sen is as old as my 20-year-old sister! they rarely cause me any problems and i'd be more than happy to drive them than any national car.

call me unpatriotic. call me a traitor, too at that. but this recent proposal to ban old cars on the road and giving a rebate of 5k for the junk to promote national cars doesn't seem to make sense to me. yea, i know proton is dying but blame the open market and the afta whatnots, not my poor old cars. i wish i could help but i'm not up to it even if the car is free. buruk-buruk my cars, i only have to fork out my money once in a while when they're sick. new car? with fuel and the monthly installment, would drive any tauke balak jadi botak.

unless, it's the honda civic 2006. now, how much would you take the two junks?

Friday, April 13, 2007

something real.

it was getting dark and it had been raining heavily. she strained to see through the mist on the windshield, frantically wiping the blurry screen. outside, the rain was still ticking. she had a feeling of something bad, but she couldn't figure it out somehow. she kept on driving her usual stance but couldn't help accelerating as she was running late.

when she turned a corner, she saw that there was a big water puddle at the other side of the road. something struck her as odd. then she saw it. a lorry was coming at her through the water puddle! she tried to keep her calm but as jets of water sprayed across her windshield and denying vision of the road ahead, she lost control. she screamed and screamed.............................. BANG!!!!.............

as she was drenched from head to toe because she forgot to wind up her windscreen.


that was me. living in the outskirts left me with a wound down window as the air is still intact. but maybe not appropriate in rainy seasons.

i am writing on a friday the thirteenth again.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

comfort : a definition

comfort. offered 11 but this one fits the most to the one i'm gonna describe.

a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety.

comfort 1 : definitely my one and only bed. even when i went to hotels and relatives' houses which definitely had better beds and pillows, i couldn't help but sleep the sleep of no dreams and stiff neck/back. hehe.

comfort 2 : being with family. they worked wonders. or with the ones i cared about.

comfort 3 : chocolates!

comfort 4 : of course fooood!

comfort 5 : a bath after a tiring day.

comfort 6 : olive dry oil mist by bodyshop.

comfort 7 : books. good ones, please.

superbly comfort : snuggle up in bed on a rainy afternoon with chocolates and read shin-chan without screaming siblings in your ears.

that's all comfort i can offer for now. rightqta2x.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

phew.. part 1

my lecturer/supervisor already came this morning for the presentation. i was so nervous till i stuttered halfway through. i'm quite a nervous wreck. so, it's the first phew for the period. PHEW!!!~~

truthfully, i don't know what to write. certain things happen that i took them to heart. i don't know where to start when everything seems of the same importance.

love is definitely a delicate matter. i respect it with passion and desire it ignited. it took me 6 years. don't take too long. for i'll be long gone.

...with love.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

before and after..

do you know the feeling when all you wanted to do at that particular moment was dropping whatever you've been holding and have sex embrace your bed? when it happens, i lost thought of anything and everything. only to feel that soft fluffy bantal busuk against my cheek.

ok, enough about me in love with my bed; it fit a description of a sinous affair. hehe.

my supervisor postponed her visit to next week. quite a relief but i still panic coz i haven't finish the reports and the presentation, so i'm quite in a deep shit right now. SINCE my pc decided to merajuk on me as i did ignore him and fondled him less and less since i decided to be monogamous towards the bed. oh shit. did i mention my bed again? my bad.

i still owe this place the part ii review, a tribute to a friend, and a stupid joke for the day before yesterday's fools.

i'm good, but still sicko from staring at the square box, both here and at home. dang!