take a bow

i am writing this in a solemn mood. i haven't been able to put this out with words, but i finally do.

i might not be able to spin this out like a storyteller, and some things are better kept private, coz even though it hurts, it's still precious, coz it made me who i am today.

believe that every obstacle and the hardship are always to make us stronger. i have always believed in that. but the recent happenings made me believed in that even more.

i have always been a free-spirit, but practical. i flirt all the time, but it was always innocent, so people don't notice much. i don't waste time thinking about the nitty-gritty. i take the plunge, see if it's worth it and dive. if it's not, i get out as fast as i can. simple.

it worked all this while. when i thought about it again, i was downright cruel. yes, it worked for me, my side. i didn't give the other party a single thought, at all. i thought it was for the best. most of the time, i squeezed free, unscathed.

so, this time around, i put my guards down, get hurt in that process, and start all over again. i can be like an angel when i am nice, but i can hurt you like the devil if i am being cold and mean. so much that i wanted no heart feelings, but the logic here is, i go my own way. you want to come along, fine. but i won't take you or treat you nice. being nice period is over and your sorry doesn't mean anything, anymore.

wow, i sound so angry. well, that's after a time of enlightenment after so long being in a state of confusion. any kind of ship baffled me. i just don't get it. or maybe i haven't taken the time to have fun with it.

so, i'm taking a bow. i am not sorry your decisions made me go through all of this, i learned so much and become stronger than i thought. you are just one pathetic idiot who is not worth my time.