Contentment

The pic is their idea to expel wind. Conc0cti0n of tea, lem0njuice, cinnam0n and ginger. Not bad i must say. Yet to experience the aftermath. Lol.

People who matters called. Xoxo. Laters.

Rofl!

While waiting for a friend to pick me up, this sign g0t me baffled. Hahaha!

said sadly part 1: pain

it is ramadhan the 1st. i am definitely on the other side to have landed again, with this kind of cheesy entry titles. blame it on the hormones or whatever they call it these days, i am getting old.

i am actually a different sorts of person. with everyone. the only person that i feel safe to be whatever i want and he won't say a thing except for the sake of my own benefit, is someone else's husband, though i know him long before that. i can't seem to start the story of my own life without telling about him coz he is what i am today. the story about myself will be awfully incomplete if his chapter is not included. but what he is to me and what we are, will be our secret. you just had to be in our shoes to know, which is not possible (since he is size men's 7 while i'm women's 8 :P)

it is the bitter feeling that stirred up the thoughts of unpleasant memories. rivalry is dangerous if it comes with jealousy, but if it is to work harder and better, it might bring good to those who felt it in the first place.

the bitter feeling that made me feel incompetent. the feeling that all is lost, and whatever that i worked hard for seems meaningless. and to feel this way must've been quite a blow. yes, it was. and it opened up the old wound, exposing it raw. try to put salt to it. the pain is much worse than that.

i cried when i felt nothing at all. i am built that way. my train of thoughts and feelings would be a mass of intricate thousands, where every single node known and felt. for this complex structure to be void, something disastrous might have shattered the walls i've built, the shields i've grown accustomed to.

i am repeating myself again. people think i'm being funny when i'm just being sarcastic. anyone can be funny, but not everyone can be sarcastic and gets away with being funny.

her: i told him the same thing 5 times already and he just asked me, again? can i whack some senses into this guy? *disgruntled*

me: you can't hit a clueless person. they won't know what hit them.

her: rofl!

3daysgrace: coz i'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

to be continued.......

hiatus lagi.

i apologize if you are the frequent visitors here. july was so taxing, full of non-stop activities, being the dynamo myself. hence the lack of updates for july. i have so many things to write, but the words are just silent echoes in my head, without the proper channel to go out.

i hardly rest in july. i was always up to some mischiefs. be it the kerja gilas, or even visiting my nieces. 2 amusing things happened:

my conversation with my 17-months-old niece.

her: auntie, nak kelat. (chocolates, she meant)

me: kelat dah habis.

her: auntie, nak smile (taking pictures)

her mother: buat apa dengan tangan tu?

her: korek nose.

me: *rofl*

her: auntie, uncle mane?

me: *tersedak*

budak kecik pun tau tanye soalan cepukmas nih. hahahaha!

another occasion:

him: the main story is about ev's love for her husband.

why does that sound familiar? oh yea, i think i told him that hp is about sn4pe's love for hp's mother, which was quite amusing that somebody mirrored your exact point of view, voiced out previously.

i want to write more, but i am saving the words for another time. :)

unproductivity

2 days of non-productivity, sebabnye hari2 bangun dengan hang-over yang teruk, separuh hari rase pening dan takleh wat keje. memangle tak produktif, lansung.

sekarang dan kebelakangan ni, rase macam lagu ni;

I dont mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I dont like illusions I cant see
Them clearly
I dont care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I dont mind
I dont care
As long as you're here

Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am

I dont mind, I dont care
As long as you're here

Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or Right
Black or White
If I close my eyes
Its all the same

In my life
The compromise
I'll close my eyes
Its all the same

Go ahead say it
You're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are now
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

sic.k pupp.ies - all the same

pada suatu pagi yang bengang,

memang pagi yang bengang, sebab aku bangun dengan hang-over dan rase tak puas hati.

me: pade hal mekdi tu makin mahal kot
me: aku dah tak mampu dah nak beli
me: gigil2 bayar
her: ko beli yg extra double tuh watper
her: lain kali pegi time lunch
her: murah skit
me: hahaha
me: sini panas doww, jauh nak jalan gi mekdi
me: aku tak penah le beli double tu, pembaziran melampau
her: xmampu nak abiskn
her: itu mmg super duper gemuk ler kalo mkn
her: berjuta kalori agaknyer
me: berjuta?
me: lawak tol ko nih
her: spicy chicken mcdeluxe pn cecah seribu
her: kalo besarcamtuh hmpir ler sejuta
her: hahaha
me: ngok, mane ko belajar matematik?
me: dia tambah satu keping patty je lagi
me: lain sume same
me: hahahaha
her: hahaha
her: tuh campur ngan fries
her: ececeh
her: air karbonat

benda nih memang lawak gile, terus hilang bengang. nak2 aku bengang+hangin+tak puas hati, tapi aku plak kene pujuk orang lain yang bengang+hangin+tak puas hati. apatah lagi, orang lain tu yang aku dok bengangkan, hanginkan, aku plak kene pujuk dia? memang rase cam haram.

oh, time kasih untuk lawak di atas. buat kepala aku rase ringan sket, dan ade rase nak muntah hijau sebab banyak sangat angin masuk lepas ketawa guling2.

seriously?

seriously, what i want to do right now, is just leave everything behind, and go some place alien on the metal bird.

seriously, i am all the negativity now.

seriously, sen is making me lose my rational and gave in to my alter-ego. not that i don't feel gleeful about it *evil*

seriously, if my alter-ego is taking over, i will be what i was almost 2 years ago. cold, unfeeling, uncaring. geez, even thinking about being like an alien gives me shivers.

seriously, sorry for making you read this depressing entry. depressed words make me feel in power, though i wonder where the hell did that notion came from?

seriously p/s: i am still looking for the leprechaun's gold at the end of the rainbow, so i can be serious. seriously, this just doesn't make any sen(se).

keanehan

aku terasa keanehan. mungkin sebab dah lama tak fokus pada perasaan sendiri, lantas sesuatu yang tak dapat diungkap dengan kata-kata, menimbulkan rasa pelik dan aneh yang tidak berkesudahan.

apa yang aku terdaya buat selain main tarik-tali, minta padaNya, dikekalkan keanehan ini andai ia dibataskan niat yang baik.

okeh, sila muntah untuk entri jiwang ni. yaks!

20 ways to be happy

these are the main ideas with my responses. credits to excelle at divinecaroline to read full article and explanations. :)

1. Make Your Bed Every Morning

- i think this really makes a difference.

2. Shorten Your Commute

- yea, i was happier when i shortened my commute from 45 mins to 5mins. :P

3. Find a Rocking Chair

- my office's chair rocks. :P

4. Make Lists

- i know i'm doing jobs when i crossed done tasks. that's bliss. hehe.

5. Paint Your Toenails

- time to paint my nails i guess, black.

6. Wake up the Right Way

- hmmm, should try this.

7. Talk About Something New

- oh, no wonder.

8. Refuse to Give Advice

- can't i just be a good listener? plish.

9. Rearrange Your Furniture

- time to spring clean and rearrange.

10. Smile on the Outside

- always do this when i think about something silly.

11. Gaze at a Photograph

- jake please. or the right guy for edward.

12. Get Informed

- google is my truest best-friend. haha!

13. Turn off the TV

- don't watch tv that often, would rather hang-out with frens.

14. Eat Avocados

- aih, nyesal plak tak beli hari tu time murah.

15. Sing or Hum a Tune

- dalam bilik air selalu la. hahaha.

16. Break the Rules

- yea, sume kerja gila itu adalah buktinya. :D

17. Invigorate Your Sense

- should put those scented stuffs in my pillow.

18. Visit a Quiet Place

- kedai buku selalu la. takpun toysrus. hehe.

19. Forgive Someone

- i think i've never really gotten vengeful at anyone. serious.

20. Spend More Time with Your Happy Friends

- yes, they matter. a lot. and my wacky family too. :P

something funny

i know maybe some of you have watched this when you watched the live show, but here you go anyway.

terbaek!

ironic!

http://xkcd.com/667/

I heart public transp0rt...

...when there are less pe0ple in it.

...when it's on time.

...when there is a LADIES COACH! Whee!

Kudos to ktm for pi0neering the ladies only c0ach. They even marked the space to wait for the c0ach, where it is with a pink sign. In s0me stati0ns, the pillars are even painted PINK! Definite c0olness!

So ladies, make sure that you look for the LADIES Coach whenever you board ktm komuter.

I loiikee!

well-said caption. lol!

i was practically complaining of my friend's down-time behaviour that's ticking me off.

me: what's wrong with you? sikit-sikit nak emo. a few weeks back, emo tak sudah, annoying gile. bleurgh!

him: do you think only girls have emotions? lelaki pun datang haid jugak, oke?

me: what the...???

i don't have any words after that because i was rolling on the floor, crying gallons of laughing my heart out.

guys, haven't you heard of the word P.M.S.? *rofl!*

pagi yang tak berapa cerah

everytime i come in, there's always something that made my heart stopped and made my blood boil. i was in the midst of the morning chaos, of the usual craziness when he called:

him: you busy?

me: pretty much not so. what's up?

him: listen to this.

and there was this familiar tune playing, which i couldn't quite recall.

i was more amused with the fact that he's calling me, making me listen to the tune he's strumming with his guitar when i was only thinking of i'm going to have a bad day. and i felt definitely better.

i typed this on my fb : when i felt my day was going down so early in the morning, you picked the guitar and played me a song. thanks. even if it's u.s. national anthem. :P

yea, it was u.s. national anthem i later found out. tell me how not to appreciate this guy with all his flaws and weaknesses, when all he did was being considerate and thoughtful?

thanks. you're one in a million. :P

i still..

on a not so typical morning;

me: i dah lame tak bicker dgn u

him: i miss you too.

me: uuuu. you dah mellow

him: :)


okeh. still sayang dia ni. sampai bila2. =)

bile kepala dah tak betul

apologies to any of you who didn't manage to comment here. i stupidly changed a few settings. no wonder, nobody commented :P



this happened 2 months ago:


i was telling 2 guy friends about this guy i like, excitedly:


me: you know he told me this and that... blablabla.


both of them: *stoned*


me: blablablabla... so, what do you think?


guy 1: oh ok. *silence for a moment* bile nak bawak jumpe kitorang?


me: *tersedak*


guy 2: ROFL!

motif? hahahahaha!


i like you. i like you a lot. at least for another 3 months. bwahahahaha!

The qu0tables

'' she didnt have a dad, her m0m was a drunkard, she had to take care of her family. She had this c0nstant fear that everything is fallin apart. She just had to have c0ntrol. When i c0uld, i'd let her c0ntrol me. Coz it made her feel safe. As her husband, i'd make her feel safe.'

Bleh order tak husband camni kt kedai?

// The qu0te was fr0m mr scav0, lynette's of desper4te wives //

Lax

Premise 1

''Ive been into shit way deep than diz 1 n i know 1 thing.there will alwys be an escape route. ''

Yea, but y0u d0nt get lucky, twice. Remember that.

Premise 2

''you b0th are finding excuses to spend m0re time with each other. I rest my case''

It w0n't be this way, if y0u f0ught harder.

Premise 3

'you w0n't take her, even after she's free'

You're n0t sincere in this c0z y0u'd rather be cina buta.

Being there, but n0t being there. Easy. Careless. Lax.

Conclusi0n:

I want the cake in the pic! Grr!

Rofl!

What happens when 10 single girls threw a party for a single male b0ss?

Pic ab0ve explains. And yea, his present is a d0zen of ferrer0 and jumbo pack of the happy ballo0ns. Rofl!

Wishes

For the w0nderful w0man whose favourite s0ng is g4ga's bad r0mance.

Thank y0u for being the reas0n we're here.

Happy birthday m0m. Glad y0u liked the red velv3t cake.

We love y0u!

When loneliness calls

Its exactly 2 weeks i didnt have the urge to write. I have s0 many things to write ab0ut, but i lacked the strength.

When in the middle of n0where, with strangers ar0und, it felt w0nderful when i looked up and see you, looking at me. Waiting for me to disc0ver that y0u're there. Thanks friend, for making me happy.

The pic is the infam0us ayam golek pantai dlm. Sape nk g mkn bwk aku. Hehe.

Nak blik. Jumpe mak. Bai.

stupidity is an infectious disease

stupidity 1:

one stupid woman pulled the toilet-roll long enough to make a mummy out of herself; just to wipe her not-so-wet hands; when i used only 2 perforated sections for my dripping wet hands. i was shaking my head at the number of innocent trees that were pulled down just because of one show of stupid woman's stupidity.

stupidity 2:

i was patiently waiting for gift wrapping services when a stupid woman cut the queue. waited for her turn to wrap her stupid gift which was one of the small h0t-wheels car. how stupid can someone get, dim enough to buy a cheap car (it was 6.90 tops), dim enough to buy a stupid wrapper and very STUPID to ask for assistance to wrap the car. like a kid cares of how the car was wrapped, it's a car, any little boy would be thrilled. if you're sooo stupid, try learning how to wrap a toy-car, you stupid moron.

i won't be this pissed if she didn't cut the queue just to wrap a little toy-car. fcuk you woman, learn your manners.


stupidity 3:

backstabbers are stupid. they think they won't get caught doing the backstabbing. the problem is, they always do. so, next time stupid woman, try minding your own business, before you meddle with mine. when you do, you're making me dig up the past. which is nasty. which will turn everyone against you. when you're just trying to save your own ass. fcuk you! and i mean it more this time!


lack of sleep + other people's stupidity = a hell of a day.

Sorry isn't the right w0rd

I think i'm feeling s0rry. But as the title suggests, it might n0t be the right w0rd.

I've left this place to fend for itself when i am to0 exhausted to even having an eye open, let alone write w0rds that'll inspire and n0t s0me gibberish that even i have pr0blems to understand in the future.

At times like these, i wish i have the right w0rds that c0nvey my feelings, w0rds that carry the message acr0ss, with0ut revealing to0 much and still being subtle.

In order to achieve this, writing with a clear head, n0t influenced by anything is the m0st imp0rtant. Exaggerating is all part of the drama.

So baby, happy 5th anniversary. Let's t0ast to the m0re writeful years to c0me. Much love *mwahx*

P/s: isn't the pic, a breathtaker? Wonderful p0stcard. Lovin' it! *yawns* g0in back to sleep y'all.

Tak selalu

What a saturday. It was pr0bably the zanest one i had in a long time.

I was practically mall-h0pping. Fr0m one end to an0ther. Fr0m car to bus to m0n0rail to lrt.

First st0p, digit4l mall in sec14 acc0mpanying a fren and lo0kin at my baby. I'm c0untin d0wn the days, baby.

Next, midvall3y. 2 find a b0ok. Bought it and c0uldn't find what my sis wanted.

So, we decided 2 go lowy4t. But we didn't, since we end up in times sq. She f0und what she was lo0kin 4.

And i had the sh0ck of my life when he wanted 2 meet me.

Him: janganla marah.

Me: ......

Him: kelakar pun ada, takut pun ada.

Me: ......


I ended up meeting him, for the briefest time after a long time away. In klcc.

He's still him. Those eyes and that gaze. The one i came to kn0w and remember. Th0ugh i ch0se to forget and i forg0t that i ch0se to f0rget, thanks 4 seeing me.

Thats my mallh0pping idea. Bai.

Amazing weekend

That was what i b0ught for all the m0ney we shared for mahadir's wedding.

Melaka was sc0rching h0t. I wish i c0uld be j.lo at h0me, lol!

Her h0use is c0zy. I ad0re it. If only her hubby is n0t there. Hehe.

Jb was fun. Went to eat my fave kacang ph0ol and sot0. Though i was p0orer, it was w0rth it (since s0meone else is driving tehehe)

The gro0m had a nasty pimple on his n0se, yea of all the days. But he was so happy the brilliance outsh0ne the pesky pimple. Congratz dude.

Near or far, being with people wh0 matters are the ultimate balm to a s0re heart.

Hehe

Me:

Hardships may turn y0u cold. But keep y0ur heart open and warm, for the love that may t0uch y0u. At least, n0w for nat.

Him:

Thanks. Yea, i c0uldn't pass a day with0ut t0uching her.

Me:

Touch her. And play undisclos3d desir3s.


Geez. Are we a bunch of retards, making an object s0unds like a real girl? At least i think i'm the retard0. Hehe.

How i spent my planned day

I planned 2 do sumthin official 2day, ended up n0t d0in it, but d0ing sumthin else.

Me: i wanna watch fr0m paris wit luv, since j0nathan rhys-my3rs is in it.

Him: lol. Not a chick-flick!

Me: let n0t the title f0ol y0u. It's acti0n-packed thriller. Haha.

So, we were walkin and there was a ramp that i didn't n0tice, so i alm0st tripped and i managed an "omak ko!" th0 quietly. Gile segan oke!

(I was havin the n0ti0n that he might be thinkin that me being all s0phisticated, a near-trip on the ramp destr0yed all the s0phisticatedness with melatah, dang!)

He was sizing me d0wn to my sh0es and his questi0n startled me,

Him: why didn't y0u wear heels?

Me: my heels w0uld make me feel like a giant, plus kesian kat y0u. (I made it a mental n0te n0t 2 embarass my guy frens by wearing my outrage0us heels and t0wer ab0ve them)

His answer again baffled me,

Him: seri0usly i d0nt mind. I tak kisah pun.

Me: well, i've been wearing heels all week. Need to give my feet a break.

Him: y0u w0men, gave the same excuse of wearing the flats. Lol!

He's still the blunt charmer. So easy to be with. And i h0pe our friendship thrives, thru weddings and chat sessi0ns. Get the darn pink f0nt off. It girlifies y0u. Plus it's ann0ying :-P

And yes, it has been 7 years.

P/s: the m0vie is all acti0n. I hate the plot, th0ugh.

Kadang2

I d0n't have many frens. But i kept th0se i have near. Wary of new relati0ns, c0z i'm darn n0t go0d at it.

The w0rds in the pic describes a few of those i cared b0ut. I just kept things separate, c0z i have categ0rized all of them.

And yea, i d0n't have the heart to c0ntinue writing. Cuti m0od, g0in back 2 sleep. To0dles!

jawapan teka-teki

senarai jawapan:
1. karpet
2. span cuci pinggan
3. baju sejuk kapas
4. kasut..
5. wall
6. sebahagian dari gambar
7. bende alah cuci pinggan yg kale ijau yg nipis
8. kerusi meggerutu
9. sushi
10. rumpai laut yg cover sushi tu
11. baju
12. seluar
13. teddy bear
14. span mandi
15. beg
16. span cuci keta
17. cover mknn
18. tapak tangan gorilla
19. sampah
20. alas barang...
21. teddy bear putih yg dah kepam
22. biskut
23. baju
24. Bantal/comforter
25. bende bulu2 yg biasa org pasang kat dashboard kete tu... tp ni rasenyer dah lame x basuh.
26. coklat
27. wrapping paper
28. kuih jepun
29. kek coklat
30. cupcake
31. new interior wallpaper
32. cake, pandan or choc
33. glove for winter
34. lantai yg sudah merekah dan berkulat
35. puke
36. siling yg bocor dan lembab serta berkulat
37. tilam
38. socks
39. scarf for winter
40. t shirt baru
41. dompet
42. roti
43. bantal x basuh 10 tahun
44. pasir kaler2 yg utk decorate kertas bergam
45. alas kaki
46. kulit pokok
47. kuih raya

explanation untuk hint 1:
antara banyak-banyak jawapan, ada antara jawapan tu yang berkait.
- karpet- span

explanation untuk hint 2:
share? tak nak!
- korang sure tak nak share benda nih dengan orang lain.


terima kasih kepada korang yang telah mencuba berkali-kali (walaupun aku tau motivasi nye adalah hadiah chillis nih, hahaha!). yang broadcast tanye kawan-kawan ofis, festbuk sume. terima kasih. tapi kali ni bukan rezeki korang kot.



dan pemenangnye ialah:







ecah, ke aku kene bagi kat minah ni yang tolong ko? hahaha

ok ecah, set date nak gi makan chillis. aku baru nak save duit, memang rezeki ko ler. kepada kawan-kawan yang lain, moh le join kitorang makan chillis, tapi kene bayar sendiri la.

ok. bai.

Worries and whatn0t

I am nearing the big three-oh. Ooh, it will still be a few m0re years. Now living the busy life. Being selfish. Being with my r0ckin frens.

Just w0nderin if this is the kinda life i wanna see myself livin in a few years ahead.

As of n0w, the c0ncerns of my single life are:

- my ever-gr0wing feet. Either that, or the standard sh0e sizes has been changed. I lo0k like the s0ur-faced versi0n of r0nald mcd0nald whenever i wear my fave sneakers. Geez.

- how 2 have m0re m0ney. To travel. To buy everything i ever wanted with0ut having to pause and calculate.

- what to eat for lunch/dinner?

- whether i've d0ne en0ugh for the ones closest to the heart.

- i kn0w i'm being a beetch, thats part of my m0od swings, and y0u kn0w it, but y0u still be there whenever and wherever. Please bear with me.

- h0w am i g0nna wear my saxy heels / wedges if i kept t0wering over every0ne? (Get ownself a very very tall h0t hunk wh0 w0uld still be tall en0ugh when i'm with wedges. Which might be quite hard, since they're all taken. Dang!)

- i am gettin so gemuk, i might have to get a wh0le new wardr0be. Not happy even when i get 2 go sh0ppin. Ugh!

- setting a few things to achieve this year.

That's ab0ut it. I think a lot less these days.

P/s: teka teki answer is g0nna be revealed in the next entry. No winners. *s0b*s0b*

Guess

Teka apa gambar di atas?

Sape dapat teka, aku belanja chillis.

Serius.





Ye, aku tak tipu. :-P

Cuti

Sat:

Had the luxury of wakin' up late. Waited for my sis.

Went to a place where i used 2 c0me 4 my yearly raya sh0ppin and i hadn't go there for m0re than a year.

I b0ught 2 pairs of sh0es. Ate cend0l + abc. Fried myself walkin in the heat and being in a stuffy fanless sh0p.

Relaxed at h0me watchin h0chak! Ate k0ayte0w And ir0n-man on dvd. Peri0d.

Sun:

Met a fren for my beauty supply. Thanx babe!

Went to midveli, g0t the pic as i had bad ulcer. What ann0ys me is it's strawberry flav0ured. I'm n0t a frikkin' kid anym0re, th0 i behave like 1 sumtimes. Geez!

Pard0n my rantings. I'm in h0liday m0od still, and every0ne else is on holiday but i have to c0me to w0rk 2m0ro. Yes, i'm a w0rkaholic. I hate seeing a lot of j0b piles up after long holiday fr0m werk! Dem.

w00t!!

bile la aku nak dapat internet connection kat umah yang speed lagi laju dari cahaya yg macam nih?

tunggu la bapak aku beli leased line. hahaha!

p0verty and hunger

i was playing this when this question pops:

and the answer is:

which is funny. as i can come up with,

" my sinciput is throbbing with pain "

rofl!

on the other hand.


open up this link: not recommended for the faint-hearted though.

why do i feel i need to contribute something

it's sad really. of the feeling that what you do will never be enough. never will be.

Brand new

His new gf. Name's natalie.

I might call her nate, or natty, if she's nice and sings undisclosed desires for me. *hint hint*

Him: isn't she sexy? :-P

Me: ugh, sh0uld've br0ught me along.

Him: well, she'd be jealous then and it'll be harder for me to tackle her.

Haha!

Anyone interested? In case he g0t b0red of her, will let y0u kn0w. But i bet he's all over her for the time being. Lol!

Hitam

I'm so pissed i felt like slapping s0me beetch dead. En0ugh of making me feel inc0herent, n0w y0u make me feel betrayed and stabbed at the back?

I th0ught y0u kn0w me, but all y0u cared ab0ut was y0ur own s0rry arse.

Fcuk u bitch.

I am feelin evil and black. Dem u!

saxy song!

I know you suffered
But I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless
I won't let you be denied

Soothe me
I'll make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You take your lovers that you're wicked and divine
You may be a sinner
But your innocence is mine

Please me
Show me how it's done
Tease me
You are the one


mus3 - undisclosed desires

Fatticide!

To th0se clueless, fatticide is c0ined by arni (thx a bunch!), on my entry of ch0colate spree.

So it meant, fat suicide. Commiting stubb0rn fat to the b0dy.

I to0k a g0od lo0k at myself and was appalled! I kn0w i was getting fat, but n0t THIS fat!

Omg! My basic rule is to kn0w the limit when i have a hard time fitting int0 my fave jeans.

But even when i can fit into my jeans, i lo0k h0rrible. Like a pear, ripe, waiting to be eaten.

This calls for a maj0r change. Drastic measures to be listed d0wn. Maybe even j0ining a gym.

But b4 that, i'm g0in 2 curl up and enj0y the picture 4 breakfast. Bliss!

Rand0m issues

Th0ught 1

Me: ini (the pic ab0ve) bun atau syurga?

Him: ini namenye cinnam0roll, tak penah lak teng0k syurga camne. Hehe.

Me: chet. Teng0k tu, syurga gula. *ngap* eh, syurga gula tak manis sangat *ngap*ngap*

Him: meant to look that way, d0esn't mean have to taste that sweet.

Me: *ngap* uhuh! *ngap*ngap*

Sedap gile, aku terus order 10.


Th0ught 2

Me: j0m ah trun makan.

Her: eh kejap. Nak lukis kening, tikus tu terkejut teng0k kening ai, jangan marah.

Me: rofl!


Th0ught 3

I was laughing so hard when she n0ticed s0mething and started laughing harder.

Her: look at the *laugh* state of *laugh* your n0se *rofl*

My kembang n0se was scrunching up and lo0ked like a weird butt0n. Haha.

Keji!

Me: nak masuk b.o.s la.

Guy 1: tak yah la. Nanti ko nampak baju yang aku pakai ni.

Me: eh, mane de. Mesti die dah tuka baju pattern lain.

Guy 1: iye la. Aku masuk aritu, baju yang aku beli 5 bulan lepas pun ada.

Me: gile takde taste ko ni. Sampai baju yang ko beli nampak sangat orang tak beli.

Guy 2: lol! Right in your face, man!

Erk, gile keji aku ni kutuk org tak hengat. When what i was wearing at that time, were far w0rse than a hippi3 on c0ke. Ada hati kutuk org. Haha. Yea, pr0ud hippi3 wearing selip4r j3pun.

Cravings

Eaten.
The pic.
Just n0w.

Filling the m0uth with sensati0nal beefy taste. Every bite is juicy and tender, making y0u crave for m0re. Marvellousness.

Meatballs @ ekia (intenti0nal wr0ng spelling). One year long craving, satiated. Bliss.

Patience is.

It was raining kitties and p0opies. I braved it to go to sum place i used to call h0me.

My fave sh0es were drenched wet and so do half of my jeans. Just like the pic. Since i had to cr0ss sumthin like daws0ns creek. The dirty versi0n.

While i was shivering cold, only to find out that when i arrived, the place is as dry as a feather.

What patience?

Flight of 220

It was a bit haywire this m0rning. After i s0rted it out and calmed d0wn, the elevat0r came d0wn, i knew i had to do what i tried n0t 2 do a year ago.

It was full, and the only one w0rking out of 3. The ch0ices are either i'm g0nna be very late or just in time.

One thing 4 sure, i hate waiting 4 sumthin unsure, and the preci0us time it wastes as it will literally st0p at every floor.

So, aku turun tangga. 220 anak tangga dlm 7 minit. Tu je aku nk cakap. Skg dh penat, malas keje. =p

pengakuan paling jujur

me : have you ever been shopping with girls?
him : my mom counts tak?
him : haha
him : grocery shopping penah la
me : lol
me : grocery shopping senang
me : clothes / shoes
him : emm.. tak kot..
him : i dont have good sense for fashion in d first place..
him : so.. maybe sbb tu kot tak diajak
him : huahaha

jujur gile. salut!

Preci0us finds

Yea, it's the infam0us tehb0tol. In a k0tak. Haha.

I think the sh0pkeeper mumbled s0mething ab0ut the original b0tol n0t allowed f0r exp0rt or sumthin.

It c0sts rm2.50, which was waay t0o c0stly since with that am0unt of m0ney, i can at least get 5 tehb0tol in a k0tak at its place of origin - ind0nesia.

It's hard to find c0ke over there. Better still, tehb0tol is much cheaper. The original is jasmine while s0sr0 - the manufacturer has other variants like peach and apple.

She queried what was so special abt tehb0tol that i lo0ked as happy as a kid who g0t the t0y that he wanted. Well, it's a special c0nnecti0n that whenever i think of ind0n, i think of tehb0tol, vice versa.

It reminds me of the happy times.

I heart tehb0tol!

Ciri2 budak enjin

- bukan gadget phreak sbb kalo jenis up2date pn, skejap aje tech outdated. Buat penat aje kejar.

- tidak akan tuka f0n selagi boleh call, hantar/bace sms, hatta keypad dah tercabut/label keypad dah pudar dek zaman, walaupn c0ver bateri dah lo0se dan terpaksa pkai cellotape seperti gambar di atas.

- tulisan elok sket je dari tulisan d0kt0r sbb laju sgt taip kt pc/lapt0p, smp tulis pn nk laju cm taip.

- fyp/psm/pta adalah perkara paling ditakuti dan bisa mendedahkan perangai terburuk atau meretakkan hubungan 2 insan (baik kawan ataupun c0uple)

- last but n0t least, sangat kedekut!

Muahaha!

Sila smbg list ini sekiranya anda berkenan.

The balm for a bad day

Situati0n 1:

Me: hi, may i see y0u if y0u're n0t busy, please?

Him: it has been a crazy day. Hope it calms d0wn so0n. I kn0w i have to c0me and see y0u.

Me: (smiles wickedly happy)


Situati0n 2:

Dear captain k0ala,

Hope y0u're go0d. Happy birthday, princess.

All the best!

Fr0m, captain kangaro0.

This message was pinned to a tri0 of r0ses b0uquet.

Captain koala had a bad day, thinking ab0ut little things and teared. Later, the b0uquet arrived. Oh, the best part is, captain kangar0o is physically in australia.


Verdict:

M4lay guys are less th0ughtful and in s0me cases, unr0mantic t0o.
So guys, please pr0ve me wr0ng. =p

The 400th p0st!

Happy birthday, sp0ilt brat!

Can't wait to sp0il y0u r0tten.

Much love fr0m the rest of the 6-pax.

Baby of the h0use turned 8 2day.

the change

i watched the chang3ling last night. it was a serious movie as i expected. someone must've been amused at me, since i don't really watch serious movies. but yea, since joli3 acted in it, her luscious lips are to watch for. :P

maybe i was so immersed in it, that i was so taken by the sadness. it was despair and of hopefulness and how you just have to fight for what you believed in.

even when the whole world doesn't believe you.

of how corruption is still the social illness that plagued the community even then through now.

where money and power are the rational.

as i watched jj jones (the officer who sent christine to asylum, just because he considered her endless plea to find her son, as an inconvenience), i realized something.

you will go for trial for abusing the law, for abusing the power. but a trial is not needed if you go against your superior's order (in the movie's case, the detective went against jj's order to not purse his suspicions on northc0tt's ranch after being told by sanf0rd. well, maybe his suspicions were based on true accounts and they did find the kids' bones at the ranch.)

it was too strong emotion. i'm not sure i like this kind of emotion. reasons why i don't watch horror movies and kill kill die die sorts.

ini adalah entri syok sendiri

di saat menulis nih, aku tengah kenyang. bile kenyang aku ngantuk dan malas nak buat kerja tak dan je rase.

sebenarnya, aku malas gile nak tulis blog kalo aku takde idea. tapi cam kesian plak tengok visitor yang setia (perasan gile ramai visitor, sile lempang). so aku gagahkan la tulis something untuk encik blog.

eksaited nak cite pasal kegilaan terbaru aku. bukan, bukan kasut. kasut memang dari dulu, kini dan selamanya akan menjadi kegilaan aku.

kegilaan terbaru adalah mengklik dslr, snap gambar.

dulu, pernah ade slr. time zaman pakai filem nun. tapi time tu tak pandai sangat appreciate. dan skang mane tah aku campak slr tuh. dah berkulat kot. hahaha.

pastu zaman digicam. sanggup berhempas pulas kerja time study dulu, digicam punye pasal. pastu bile dah dapat, kasi org pinjam. especially makcik aku yg sangat suka bergambar. aku rase die lagi banyak amik gambar pakai digicam tu daripada aku.

skang digicam tu ade lagi. selamat. harta aku yang paling mahal. boleh guna lagi. tapi rechargeable batteries dah jadi bongok tak leh nak recharge sebab digicam tu nak pakai 4 AA. ye, aku sangat suke digicam yang bulky, sebab senang aku pegang.

pastu digicam aku ade rotating lcd, yang mane memudahkan aku cam-whoring. tak payah agak2, memang terang2 nampak muka, dan sengih camne. tapi penggunaan minima, sebab aku memang camera-shy.

dari dulu sampai skang, baru-baru ni je belajar senyum dan pose untuk kamera. kalo dulu, tak sengih lansung. memang sape yg bergambar dengan aku dulu memang menyumpah la sebab aku rosakkan gambar. dah la dulu cuci gambar mahal.

dan aku memang tak fotogenik, baik candid, baik yang pose. justeru aku mengambil keputusan, snap gambar org lagi bagus.

itu juga alasan untuk hire sepulnang sebagai jurugambar rasmi wedding aku yang tah bile agaknye.


him: d90 itu
him: bila la nak cukup duit ni
me: cukup je duit, kalo tak nak beli gadget, tak nak beli kete best, tak nak gi berjalan sakan
him: cukup sgt tu
him: tp apa maknanya ada dslr tapi xde kete dan x bleh berjalan sakan
me: wahahahaha
me: sangat la betul
me: mereka sungguh keji kerana datang dalam pakej berangkai
him: haha tu la
him: mcm beli kfc tapi takde ayam
him: dtg dgn coleslaw dan bun
him: argh!

skang sape nak bagi aku hadiah birthday yang baru lepas ni dulang hantaran yang berisi loan tanpa faedah untuk beli d90 dan SB900 flash gun berharga 5.7k?

sila daftar name ye. :P

wishes from x k c d

he surfed xkcd.com at 2 in the morning, found this and forwarded it to me.


thanks a lot, dear. xkcd stuffs qualify for a gift. much love from me, *mwahx*


..dah, gi main jauh2..

Feast for the eye

Should've b0ught the ch0c lollip0p wit my fat face slabbed on it.

So that i have m0re guilt when i eat all of these, By myself, alone.

(......thinking to self.......)

Nah, c0me to think of it, i'll start dieting when i finish eating all of these. By myself. Alone.

Muahaha!

The un-nice felt

I like y0u.

In fact i like y0u a lot.

I like y0u 2 want 2 kn0w what's g0in on wit y0u.

I like the c0mf0rt that radiates fr0m y0u when i'm ar0und.

I like having y0u ar0und, but i d0n't like y0u as s0meone special.

But why is it when y0u're leavin, i felt a pang of sadness?

I want to have y0u ar0und but i d0n't want to have y0u ar0und if i want to be alone.

Why is it necessary for y0u 2 accept all that i am but n0t the way it is for me?

Why?

Just Because.

I. Am a selfish freak. Who w0uld want or do things as i please.

Including y0u.

annoying pissant!

a typical conversation that really pissed me off.

her: ingat lagi tak nih?

me: ingat yang sebenarnye, aku memang tak nak ingat pun

her: kerja mana skang?

me: kerja kat kl

her: Kerja apa?

me: kerja biasa je. (still trying to be nice)

her: ko bila lagi?

me: lambat lagi (and smiled plastic)

her: calon-calon takde ke?

me: (starting to get really, annoyed) takde.

her: aih, bukan main ramai lagi kat kl tu, takkan la takde?

me: betul, takde (and faked a laugh)

her: ko keje ape kat kl? (while trying hard not to sound too nosy while she was)

me: kerja biasa je.

her: ai, kalo kerja biasa je, tak yah belajar tinggi-tinggi. baik cangkul tanah je.

me: (looking very pissed and almost screamed) kerja cangkul tanah penat!


i really, really, really hate this woman! you're old and i should respect you, but i think i should be rude when you're behaving like an effing beetch.

while you're amused that your daughter is at my level, i am what i am with only 50% of her effort. she had to work extra harder while i am here almost effortlessly. yes, i am bragging and snobbish coz she quit and took the easy way, while my head felt like splitting into 6 but i survived. you freaking woman, I SURVIVED!

so what if i'm single? my own family doesn't bother with that, why should you?

geez, this woman really ticked me off.

org dah kawin

she showed me this message from one of our frens on her wedding day:

" dulu, saje saje mandi. sekarang, sahaja aku mandi "


a few days later, she texted me a few things at 7am. i replied back:

" awal bangun? sahaja aku mandi ek? :P "

her reply:

" memang skang aku bangun awal. tak biasa mandi sorang. hehe. "


.......

priceless.

My favourite strip

The place that made my day less crappy, at least.

For life is...

I am depressed. Don't ask me why, for i d0n't have answers to that.

I am on the verge of d0ing a lot of stupid things which includes b0uts and b0uts of manic-depressed bakar duit sessi0ns.

It made me feel wasted. For n0t kn0wing ab0ut my own feelings.

I. Am. Wasted.