free, for now

current Y! status : i don't fuck with you so don't you EVER fuck me up!
thinking of : a date tonight, maybe?

oh yea! monday wasn't my last day of work. i still worked the next day. got this cute i'm lovin it tote bag for the crew with the most large mcvalue set upselling last week, LOL! haven't really figured out how did i get that one kekeke.

i've been experiencing this internal backside pain which caused severe cramps to my being. and the pain was unbearable on tuesday night while i was working till i had to ask kesh to go to the clinic. i couldn't even stand nor sit. i ended my shift one hour and a half earlier after bidding everybody goodbye.

when i reached home, all of what i've been feeling; rejected, humiliated, sadness, sorrow, worn-out, tired, disappointed, pain; flowed in one direction through bucketful of tears. all of it, in one go. and i can breathe easy after that. called mom up, at 12am, reminiscing of the pain and she mentioned of coming but i said it was ok if she didn't though i was dripping from head to toe of bathing and tears. was thinking of goin out alone but thought better. get myself online and replied to a few messages when suddenly the door burst open.

there, my one and only caring mother hugging me like a baby. janganla jealous! thanks MAK! it meant so much to me when everybody else is not around. she did come even though it was 1 in the morning and she had to go to the school at 7. rounds of talk and she went back at 2 something after hugging me hard and whispered she'll always be there, ALWAYS. tak lupa gak suh aku study, hahaha!

i felt better after that though i'm still in for another big shock. please guys, let the world befall upon me but don't take this 2 people away from me. =( don't hurt them coz when they are, i will too. when i will, i can make your life miserable, feel their pain a thousand times more. i don't care if you're plotting against me but what did i do to deserve this? i keep to myself mostly, i don't use your belongings, i don't even interfere with your lives whatsoever. what else must i do to be left alone? i'm juggling this to death and i'm getting this shit from your fucked up face? that you're stabbing my back with the so-called weapon?

please, be honored. i'm too strong for this. don't say you're sorry when i speak my piece of mind which i've been putting to hard work recently. i loathe your faces. felt a savage desire to just rip that sneer off you. oh i'm sorry. right now is the full moon and i tend to overload my emotions and reactions with mad thoughts. THE PAIN? the more it feels through my body, the more i want to say, oh hello bitch! have a bitch day, bitch. hahaha. man, i'm evil. this hatred just vibrates through this weak bod. oh i'm happy!

p/s : i'm gonna flunk my electronic apps 4 sure. adoi.