a letter for myself

curent y! status - where the fucken on earth is that piece of shit?
thinking of - silat grading

dear eine,

hi! i know you're not in a stable state right now so i just sat here and felt like typing for you.

first things first. how's your significant other? he's fine i know but what about what between you and him? obviously there was nothing to tell about but let me remind you something. you've been through this before and you can overcome this one just like you did last time. he's nothing believe me girl, but the nothingness filled the emptiness in you right? *sighs* i don't care if he went out with a thousand girls but he could at least respects you. this is not right. i can ask you to just forget of what had happened, but being through this before, i know better. he's the kind that stuck for life, isn't he? what a lucky lad.

well, i wouldn't say he's a bad guy - he's one of the softest and nicest i've ever known, but maybe just maybe he hated commitments. he goes with the flow and he doesn't care if the world treaded upon him.

girl, i know you're very fond of him so get out. just get out. where he won't hurt you no more, where the nothingness won't become the pain. if he realized what he's missing, he'll come back. for you, i'm sure. and don't keep saying that you're afraid of losing a best-friend. i thought you had kyle. people change, eine so don't expect things to go the same way as it used to be.

that soft gaze isn't goin to melt you anymore. coz that gaze hurt you and i wouldn't allow that to happen again. i'm sorry this had to happen when you had so much in your mind. you're much stronger than you thought, so fight it like a man. and don't let other people hurt you. for once, be bold and face the world. you'll be surprised.

anis is coming back, right? that's good news. heard you're goin back tomorrow? get the car, drive it like hell, when was the last time you geared a 130km/h? oh malacca is very much bumpy and holed nowadays.

take a deep breath and breathe fresh air. you'll be fine during silat grading tomorow. and stop thinking about this whatnots. not worth the time. get good sleep and eine, be tough!

sincerestly me,

yourself.