of shoes and such

i am a sworn shoe lover. yes, a shoe-whore in that matter. i go high on the sight of espadrilles, platforms, maryjanes..... the list goes on and on.

i shop for shoes every now and then but the now and then means i have the need for them and i swear, i wear them not just bought and stow.

the problem is that when i decide i'd go shoe-shop, there's always:

"sori la dik, saiz tu dah habis"
"tinggal ni je last pair"
"kalo besar sket boleh tak?"

... and it pissed me off coz i don't just shop for any shoe. i have a special liking and selection to whatever shoe i chose coz it fits the me, not just my feet. i always get the first response and i felt like strangling the salesgirl. i know i have very special shoe size but why oh why it has to be sold out when i want to buy it?

oh, there's also this bemused look on any salesgirl when i told them my shoe size. that i shouldn't have that kind of size considering my slim (ugh! perasan!) features. even my friends also were aghast when my statement doesn't fit the actual representation.

my feet are quite sensitive, that's why i have to carefully choose the pattern and the design also the material. and my shoe collection still can't put imelda marcos to shame, heh! i wear my shoes till it became not wearable anymore.

my birthday is coming soon. buy me espadrilles!


p/s: please watch the up-to-no-good column for the most recent update if i'm not updating here. by the way, if i go to vincci and most other ladies' shoe shoppe, i'd ask for size 8. =p

a girl who has had her birthday today

when we were in the car,

her: aku suke la lagu ni, kasi kuat sikit.

(lagu kat radio, usher - love in the club)

her: ko dah tengok lum video clip dia?

me: lum, ngape?

her: peh, usher dance best gila. meh aku tunjuk die wat camne

(...while she waited for the song to the specific dancing tune,)

her: (already posed to show me the moves)

me: .... (waited patiently)

(...... the song abruptly ended because on radio they didn't play the extended dance version)

her: eh habis?

i immediately broke into a fitful of laughter. the look on her face when she determinedly wanted to show me the moves and the disappointment. classic!


her: best tak aku nyanyi? (she rendered an off-key of no one)

me: hmmm, ok la (too lazy to argue if i said her singing sucks)

her: kalo aku masuk audition AF sure dapat kan? memang kalo dapat tu, aku nye tagline mestila "TAU TAKPE" (while wagging her index finger)

... i don't need another trigger, the whole car was booming with my laughter.


you're so slow, i don't mind. you're too dependent on us when we're around, i also don't mind. you stand up for yourself when you're on your own, that's good.

you're so poyo, annoying and ticked me off, but i like having you around.

that's for the girl who turned legit today. happy birthday, dear sis. you suck, but i still love you loads. *mwahx*

said sadly part ii

sambung balik pasal cite aku gi jonker walk tuh..

baru-baru ni kan ada gempa bumi yang melanda china dengan myanmar tu. dekat melaka ni, ade satu persatuan buddhist mainstream yang besar. so, mereka organize satu jenis kutipan derma untuk mangsa-mangsa gempa bumi ni kat jonker walk tu.

apa yang membuatkan aku tersentuh hati ni, selain dari keadaan mangsa-mangsa tu adalah beberapa perkara yang aku rasa, kenapa kita tak boleh buat macam tu?

semua yang terlibat kutip derma pakai satu pakaian seragam: t-shirt, cap biru dengan seluar biru. tabung besar yang state apa tujuan kutipan derma tu. siap ada tag card jenis mahal yang ade hologram stiker tu.

semua yang kutip derma walaupun dah agak berumur, masih gagah lagi, tak segan plak tu. ringan mulut mintak derma walaupun bukan dari kalangan diorang.

ok, kontra nye:

secara organisasi nya, sangat sangat teratur. orang tau diorang berdaftar dan kutip derma secara sah.

tak payah pancing simpati nangis2 macam dalam program bersama kome nak dapat derma, tak payah berlagak cacat pun, ramai je kaum2 diorang derma even teenagers yang dok pakai hotpants dengan sleeveless tuh. yang mintak sedekah tepi jalan yang takde kaki la, tangan bengkok la, buat muka sedih la, itu pun orang tak de kelip mata pun nak kasi sedekah.

well, untuk kes yang sama time tsunami dulu, orang kita ramai jugak yang derma tapi masing-masing berebut nak present mock-cheque depan press, bleh masuk tibi atau surat-kabar. nakkan nama je. kan sepatutnya kalau kita memberi dengan tangan kanan, biar tangan kiri tak tahu. ini tak, mau kasi kecoh satu malaya.


objektif penulisan karangan ini:


- aku dah mengantuk, sebab tu aku merapik.

said sadly..

baru tadi aku gi jonker street. sepanjang umur aku yang bermastautin kat melaka sepanjang2 ni, aku baru jejak sane 2 kali. biasa la, tumpuan pelancong kat negeri sendiri tu yang tak heran, lagi banyak kali aku ukur petaling street tu dari gi pasar malam yang faymes kat melaka.

memang nak ikutkan, jonker street tiru style petaling street, cume belum nampak gengstarz berleluasa kat situ.

beza jonker dengan petaling:

- banyak port

port bermaksud, satu tempat yang best, so kalo satu tempat tu disebut satu port lepak, ia
bermakna, tempat itu adalah satu tempat lepak yang best.

jalan kat situ je dah best, sebab jalan dia sangat la spacious, maybe sebab peniaga2 tu pakai meja2 yg comel2 dan x makan jalan. kalo kat petaling, kalo salah lawan arus orang-orangan, sure lemas, hehe.

port makan : makan nasik lemak, abc dengan teh o lemon, masyuk gileee.

kat sini bukan setakat strawberi celup coklat, buah2an lain pun bleh celup coklat siap letak chocolate rice lagi. tapi yang ni, tanggung sendri la halal nye. hehe.

ade gula ketuk, yer sebelum di jual kepada pelanggan, acara mengetuk2 gula di demo kan. aku nengok selamba aje budak cha 6 taun tu dok ketuk2 gula, cekap plak tu, tolong bapak die.

nak makan laksa, amoi aku cakap nyonya laksa sini not bad, pun korang tanggung sendri la halalnye. termasukle hawker food yang lain, almaklum le cha ni kan suke makan, aku pun dah terjah je kedai2 yg sedap2 ni, kalo x fikir halal nye, haha.

port souvenir and crafts: kalo rase nak beli yang handmade, kat sini bleh tahan gak la dari segi harga dan kepelbagaian pilihan. macam-macam sampai aku pun naik berpinar mate dah jadi macam pelancong jakun tengok souvenir cecantik, at least aku tau, made in melaka, malaysia dari sesetengah souvenir yang konon2 songket atau batik, tapi terang2an label tulih made in filipins or even thailand.

terompah hand-made pun ade, buatan halus, nak bayo harga nye ketar hand aku, hahaha.

banyak benda yang korang tak tersangka bleh jumpa ade kat sini.


port aksesori: khas untuk mereka yang suke bergaya. nak apa? nak subang bentuk ikan? yang buat dari play-doh? nak kaler yg biru2 tak biru sangat? nak mintak custom-made pun boleh. sedia aje lah duitnye.

port mainan: action figure, magic kit, dan yang sewaktu dengannya, ade. aku pun penat nak list.


senang cite, kalo datang melaka time weekend, datangla jonker street time malam. happening beb, apek2 tua rajin karaoke sekuat2 hati kat situ. jangan la expect nak tgk awek2 cun kat sane, tapi amoi yang hot, dan sangat seksi, bersepah2, sampai kan aku pun sakit mata teruja, kah kah kah.

tapi, aku still nak gi petaling street beli jam yang cute2.

the sappy love song

it fits the bouncing mood i'm having recently.

it feels nice though i doubt how long will this phase lasts.

i will treat you like you're so fragile.
i will talk nicely to you.

that's all i can think of just about now.


when i get bored, i'll leave. no matter how this over-rated expression might be classified.

crush, infatuation, likeness, friendliness or if i don't leave at all, it might just bloom into something serious. which i hope doesn't, since i'm not really into you. it may sound direct and to the point, but yes, i plan on cheating on you or dump you even, because i ain't a thankful bitch who wants everything her way even when other people don't like it.


that's from one who haven't been in a decent relationship for the most of her life.


p/s: nothing beats a quiet evening alone.

mau tergelak.

though i'm relatively free from any sort of attachment of any kind with any organization or institution as a student or as a full-time employee, i'm still pretty caught up with the course i'm currently attending. rasa gila sekejap.




by the way,








I'M IN LOVE,











i hope, again. hehe.

my wish list

my status on y! read:

wish-list:

5. pc baru

4. laptop baru

3. wireless broadband+modem

2. honda

1. KERJA BEST!!

a y! conversation spurred by this wishlist:

him : kahwin

him : list ke brp?

me : x de, x masuk lg list

me : tunggu 4 thn ke 5 thn lg

him : mak aihh

him : lama sgt

me : nak beli honda mane bleh pk kawin

me : hahahaha


yes, this is the current wish-list for now, with the objective of achieving the first priority before pursuing other wishes. ahem! kene kerja la dulu baru bleh beli honda. hehe.

oh, masih ade kurusus (ya, kursus yang bakal menurunkan berat badan aku lagi, haha!) ccna tajaan penuh. masih berharap aku boleh tak tidur selepas subuh dan meredah kesejukan pagi untuk menggenggam sekeping sijil percuma. sekian.

the day i became...

a full-fledged penganggur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



PSM sudah.

final exam pun sejarah.


tesis je belum.


secara rasminya,




merdeka merdeka merdeka! (tinggal belum jerit kat memorial je hahaha)

ok, aku nk jd cikgu grammar jap, pastu nk g mekdi.

:-) <- what's with this kind of emotion?

happy things make me sick. i can't explain.

it's just this weird urge to puke whenever i see happy things. i can't feel happy when i see happy things happening.


there were the times, i hope i can relive some parts of my life. especially these few years back. it's just a thought of living them differently. though i know fate will have me back to square one, i know i'd been different.

then, i pray that even when our paths crossed, that would be it. you'd be on your own, and i'd be on mine, without the chance to know you like i did today. i'll be sincere and kept strictly as friends. unlike now when i can't even tell the difference between angry and hurtful.

is it a sign that i'm able to handle all of this? for God didn't test you with something He knows you can't handle. coz i'm already a grown-up now.

a grown-up trying so hard to catch up with her lost-youth. pathetic i know, but i traded my youthfulness with playing all grown-up. which i failed too, both, miserably.


looks like it has finally taken its toll. wish i'm not dead, like now.

putting up a tough front..

... when all of my insides want to throw up and crumble.

it makes me happy to the extent of making me so sick and sad.




he said : you are stronger than what you think. give it all of you and the unexpected may become your treasures one day. one fine day. insya-ALLAH.

legit, cerita payung dan hujan.

what's with the topic, anyway? it made me remember the fish patty we used for fish supreme. hah!

i went for the general election for the first time. the one i pangkah, menang! thrilled, beb! but anyways, this may sound basi already.

even when the opposition won in the respective "lost" states, forming the mixed-parties government doesn't mean that all will be lost. come on, give them a chance. fresh ideologies and new "ways" are always welcomed.

i'm just a keen observer who doesn't read the news until the boom died out, only then i knew. to whomever this may concern, take heed. malaysians are not like indonesians, we cared too much for the daulat and not even like the thais, we don't shoo you when we don't like you.

this is the way, democracy should be: through the elections. the people have spoken.

---------------------

i said: ........ i don't care if the whole world turn their backs on me. but not from the ones cared, loved and those who matters. i'd rather be 6' under than live with their anger, scorn and hatred.

he said: and i did not scorn you, am not angry at u, and i never have hated you.

i said: it wasn't an accusation on your part. it was an expression for the hard times. am afraid it will be like last time when i call.

he said: the last time?

i said: the last time i call, hujan turun dengan lebatnye. =p

he said: hmm, payung ade ape?

i said: it's not like you're taking my call tetengah hujan. besides, payung tu i pinjam orang punya. kene pulang balik.

he said: haha, how you've been doing?

i said: ....i need those rains to keep me sane. rain is good. it washes away, everything....


....... except the pile of shit work which won't stop piling adding more misery to the already miserable me. anyway, this guy cracks me up any given time, no, that would be the stolen times we get to chat. see, i don't even have time to talk nowadays. i missed the long hours on the phone and on the net with those who still call me friend apart from me being a busy beetch nowadays and didn't manage to catch up with things.

give me another 2 months, it would be damn OVER. and i'll be laughing on the floor, having my mug of tea, reading goong manhwa with jordin s and chris b's no air playing, or even have marathons of goong, coffee prince, yoo hee, my girl and nodame. yea, i'm a sworn k-drama addict now.

back to rite now, i have rts, ic design and my mental project to worry about.

pfttt** bzztt**

yep that's definitely the state i'm in at the moment.


because of... this fyp.

our fyp is better known as psm...

which stands for:


PROJEK SAKIT MENTAL.

end of story.

a mass blabber of everything

• he asked me why would it be when he listened to chris brown's with you made him miss me? don't ask. mission accomplished. perfect score.

• she already has a bf. even when he is the person i hated. even when they're like beauty and the beast. even when they're like humpty dumpty and tinkerbell. i will be nice for her sake. as long as she's happy. as long as she knows her limits that our time will be our time and not shared with the bf. vain, i'm so vain.

• currently writing the love-life CV. yes, feel free to ask. am in desperate mood. rewriting the resume, to find a job, for real. for honda, for resort home, for UK. potential suitors welcomed. potential employers are a DEFINITE MUST!

• questioning the fact that i took the best major ever, but with the heckload of credit hours that i might as well pull my hair (yes people, the hair i adore so much) off my head, running and screaming like a mad woman, drop down and die. die. die.

• looking for sponsors. for the upcoming wedding with the know-who-yet and the dinner blast. feel free to drop cash or favors or tokens. whatever. credit cards also accepted.

• wondering why i can't get my hands on/off choi han kyul, seol gong chan and lee shin?

• manhwa just rocks. k-dramas hog my resources and hd space, but entertaining. hah!

• not in the mood to turn off streamyx and shift all of me there. i'll always belong here.

envying the people in love. at the same time happy and contented to see such smiles and happiness existed in this time. i still apply the 3-months curse. don't blame me. good guys are meant for good girls.

i don't know when i'll be able to write again. my fucking workload just never ends.

the intense pressure.

what i badly want to do right now is simply pulling my hair off my head. seriously.

screaming my heart doesn't work anymore.

neither does banging my head against the wall.

even not crying the bucketload of tears. i think the tears are in tens of litres right now if collected.

so, the last resort is by sacrificing my mane. not by the conventional periodical cutting but rather by hands of force wahaha!



now, seriously i do sound sick, the final-year age-old syndrome.

suffocation

from,

too many jobs to do;

too many tests to study for;

too many reports to write;

too many things to ponder over;

too many outings owed;

too much sleep;

too many k-dramas to watch;

too many books to read;






too many deaths and losses. Al-fatihah.

post yang takde kaitan

aku memang berkawan dengan kawan-kawan lelaki yang kurang sikit tahap sensitiviti diorang kepada benda2 sekeliling diorang terutamanya perasaan perempuan. aku dah terbiasa dengan lelaki yang konon-konon macho ni (hehe!), lelaki yang jiwang adalah fags, lelaki yang tak reti control perasaan adalah loser.

so, jangan salahkan aku bila:

• aku tak cakap mana-mana aku nak pergi. aku tak reti nak repot segala pergerakan aku, kasi tau checkpoint aku. mak aku pun tak demand gitu.

• aku gelak kat ko sebab ko tension gf ko x angkat tepon.

• aku cuma cakap hai kat ko bila jumpa kat store. tu pun, nasib baik le aku tegur, daripada buat tak reti je, ye tak?

• aku tak reti nak pujuk orang merajuk. aku memang fail dengan jayanya.

• aku tido tak cakap. aku kalo tido trus je tido, takdela nak gi bagi tau semua, woi aku nak tido dah ni. lain le time tido aku bleh tulis mesej tuh.

• aku tak balas mesej. kadang2 kredit takde. bukan aku tak nak balas, cuma aku amik masa lama nak karang mesej.

• aku lebih kelelakian dari ko/bf ko. wahahaha!

• aku cover soft-side/jiwang aku. hahaha! yer la, aku kan perempuan, please la.

• demand lebih. aku bukan perfectionist, tapi aku mahu yang best. sape tak nak benda yang best kan?

aku penat la nak amik kisah. banyak lagi benda nak buat dan settle.

oh.

secara tiba2,

"ko dah makin kurus la"


trus aku rasa happy gile. ko perasan rupe nye aku ni, dulu dan sekarang. dulu budak kecik, skang aku dah nak grad dan nak beli honda civic sebijik, kasi tayang kat ko. haha!

girlfriends and boyfriends.

they befriended me. they'll tag along everywhere i go.

can't help it by being protective over them.

then, they'll leave me for their boyfriend.

i'll be the crying shoulder, the patient listening ear, the company whenever catfights happen, the middle man. the neutral party.

the specific tagline at this time is:

"why can't you be my boyfriend, instead?"

and all of this while they're courting, their boyfriends would be damn jealous of me. it is still beyond me why would they be jealous of their girlfriend's girl friend.

hey, i'm still the macho one here ok? since i don't fight about girls with guys. hahaha!

--------------


we became friends.

sometimes when you are attached. sometimes when you're not.

the former case:

you hung out with me, just the 2 of us. but you never allow your gf to hang out with her classmates, on the basis of who knows what might've happen.

the latter case:

we hung out a lot. and you were always eyeing at other girls, taking a hit every now and then. i'll be the cheering on party, laughing at you when your attempt fails.


for both cases,

sometimes, you even forget i'm a girl. you never let me go. you keep your gf and wanted me to be near. you chased after other girls and still, you need me to be there.

you get jealous when i flirt with other guys in front of you.




you see, these are the reasons i'm still single. for the sake of my girlfriends and boyfriends (chewah!).

what i can't have.

he is jambu. he watches hindustan every weekend.

he's 2cm taller. he is soft-spoken.

he always make me laugh with the way he quipped whatever i say.

he drives vic like his own. he is passionate about sepak takraw.

he speaks no english.


above all, he has the prettiest eyes.




he already has a girlfriend.

menu for today

- take out the flat steel pan, layering it with oil and put it on the stove.

- crack 2 eggs, add pepper and salt as liked. whip it till it looked well-beaten.

- pour the eggs on the heated pan according to style: omelette, the well-rounded heap; the scrambled, pour-it-like-you-don't-care, since you're gonna scramble it anyway; free-style, just do it!

- remove the cooked scrambled egg. put out the fire. lay 2 slices of bread on the pan. put mounds of frozen butter on them. slightly over time, lather the melting butter all over the toast.

- open a tin of baked beans. pour the content out into a bowl. fry last night's tapao chicken from mcd.

- take the toast, put some egg and beans on it. the other hand holding a chicken. itadakimasu!


P/S: no, i'm not trying to show my culinary skills. it's rather my lack of it and how to survive a sunday lunch.




* congratulations to dzaidah hanin and husband! may the union bring lots of joy into both of you guy's shared life, happily ever after!

friends and backstabbers

a backstabber can be a friend.

but a friend can't and shouldn't be a backstabber.

selamat hari lahir!

for:


fizzal





***** for being who you are *****







happy birthday, dude!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

the love post. again.

we befriend each other. long time ago. i was the lame one.

still, we stuck together.

through the years, i fell in and out of love. the crying shoulders, the listening ear, the patient one. you are.

still, we stuck together.

through the years, i grew up. you noticed but slightly amused. always the observer. not aware that i too, long time been the keen one.

still, we stuck together.

we fought. we made up. stronger than before. always wondered the missing parts here and there. made a mess out of myself, emotionally.

still, we stuck together.

it is heart-warming and joyful to see you becoming whole, as a human. emotionally attached, finally.

we will stick together, till the end.

happy birthday, angel!

this little, messy brat:




turned 6 today.

happy birthday, darling. kak long loves you very much.

month of love (-y-dovey and flowers, fererro and such!)

Occasion I

one of my birthday wishes from one of my best-friend:

"happy bestday, semoga cepat mendapat jodoh hehe."

fortunately that one coming from one who's married herself.

Occasion II

a close-friend revealed her plans to get married in 2 years. and what's that gotta do with me, right? unless she planned to force me to be the bridesmaid, which won't happen since she planned on having a simple ceremony which definitely won't include bridesmaids.

so, the picture of me come to view : she intends to see me get married first beforehand so that she can attend my oh-so-ceremonious wedding reception.

Occasion III

another friend and i were catching up on old times when the subject of another schoolmate came up, whose wedding invitation didn't seem to reach us. when she shrugged it off, her exact words were,

"takpe ah, die tak sempat nak jemput kite kot. janji kalo ko kawin, jangan tak jemput aku sudah"

Occasion IV

a friendster testimonial:

".......... aku dengar ko nak tunang. kenduri wei, lapor lapor. "


there seem to be one slight problem.

i AM still SINGLE, people!

forgive me for having planned my wedding years in advance, i have this knack for planning functions, weddings in particular. i know what kind of food i'd serve to my guests. i also would like to have 7-tiered cake with a sword to cut the cake.

the only thing missing is the groom to walk the aisle with.

so, until i get lots of fererro and a truckload of white lilies on valentine's day, the subject of marriage is definitely out of question. unless you are playing match-maker and hooked me with a potential suitor a.k.a eligible bachelor. ha, then we'll talk business.

and still, i have to find sponsors for my upcoming wedding. photographers? wedding-gown designer, anyone?

eating fast food

i've been eating fast food for 4 days of the week since the last 4 years. i'm pretty used to it, so i have to eat it for energy. imagine you have to eat burgers and fries for 4 days of the week. i know some of you couldn't even stand having them for 2 days straight. but i guess, i just had to consume them, for the sake of eating.

but even that couldn't beat this week's feeds of snack plate on monday and today and stuffed crust on wednesday. i felt sick. i don't feel healthy at all. and they weren't even fulfilling. huhu. nak nasik jugak.


there are going to be more eating sessions next week, and i don't think i'd be able to finish them, alone. ade sesape nak ikut, makan makanan segera?





just so i get paid for that. hehe.

starting of new semester

i am just a step away from



















* pulling my hair off my head ( and it's something i hated to do since i fancy my mane very much )

* becoming a crazed-hallucinating-insomniac freak ( all from not having enough sleep )

* a desperately walking stick with curves haha!(i'm definitely losing weight, ya'know though the fluffed up cheeks kinda denied that)





tell ye what, people? this is LIFE.