anger management

current y! status : new 64k same number simcard but old 3610 again. :(
thinking of : the 'stuffs' i tried at the mall

i should attend those anger management classes. i'm easily pissed nowadays. and my mouth works faster than my head, muttering vulgar words which i banned myself from saying. everytime someone / something pissed me, there's always s*al or b*bi coming right back at them. or even this afternoon's brengset at a car which appeared out of nowhere close by my side when i was trying to slow down from colliding with a slow bike.

the driver cynically said "hai, marah ke cik kak?" kepala otak ko x marah, bodo it disrupted my already foul mood. lucky i'm sane enough than flash an's infamous middle finger point.

this was one of the bad examples of working at mcD. our vocabs would make nik safiah and awang sariyan shrieked in horror. hehe.

everything looked red, worth complaining and swear about. i'm turning into a horrible hot-headed monster who chomps away on stupid customers, insensitive drivers and everything that won't go my way with those banned words.

those words made me feel guilty. i wasn't brought up with them. when we were little, my mom used to warn us that she'll cleanse our mouths with bawang or cili if ever she heard us using those words. that scared me a bit. i grew up with books, became a nerd with nerdie friends so those words are a definite no-no though we used them as a verb instead of as an expression of anger.

it is full moon but i'm scared that i get easily angered over little things. i have to get a grip on what's going on. have to take a deep and long breath and istighfar banyak-banyak. or was it the weather, i wonder?

my body is not okay. i can not consume rice at lunch without having the great urge to get everything back out again. i can not eat anything bigger than big mac. i can not eat on time. i can only consume dinner without having to puke only at mcD. and everybody kept asking "dah berapa bulan?" "are you alright?" i'm having this addiction for wrigley's doublemint to keep me from thinking about what i've just eaten and puke.

i've replaced my stolen simcard with a new one at maxis centre. the process was a breeze though i had to wait for some time. so you people, i'm still using my old number with my old trusty 3610. =) it's just painful that i'd have to replace the lost 3months-old 3100 with a new one. :(

i'm sporting a new spec. mom dropped by mcD yesterday to give me my new high-indexed multicoated lenses specs. i'm lovin' it!

p/s : beautiful-beautiful full moon. i'm goin for a late supper with closing team crews. :D