boring day

current y! status : something so strong it could never be wrong
thinking of : the encounter

i am not feeling well now. i've been like this since day one here. instability and RM2.50 worth of mee goreng wasted down the toilet bowl. i was so mad and pissed at the stupid customers till i threw up all in one go. darah sudah naik kepala till i got a headache controlling my anger and keeping a bright and smiling face to those idiots.

but as i saw his car pass-by, i felt a bit better when i was a bit dissapointed seeing him not working when i arrived earlier. hearing his booming voice comfort me poyo nyer aku and i thought he'd gonna stay long but i was wrong. he came by just to give the tokens from sai fong. as i made my wobbly way to the toilet, all i hoped for was a glance. but none. and that was the last time i saw him yesterday. he'd gone back straight after that. remember, i had to play it slow.

i saw my significant other with another girl. seriously, i'd get mad before. recounting madly at zura of how and what and why. this time, i glanced at a guy i thought i knew, which i did and that was it. i couldn't even single out a feel of jealousy. maybe a bit but it wasn't enough for a guy i thought i've loved all this while. the only word i was able to mutter was pegi mampus oh ok. this me.d thingy really stuck. not even kyle. speaking of kyle, that distant feeling of ........love....... maybe i've never known a love so pure, so trusting and so giving like it was for kyle. and maybe i've always believe that love is like a pail of water, you can always give it to anyone and still retain the half parts. LOL!

a new attraction opened my eyes for the facts i knew but kept a blind eye on. i kept asking myself, isn't that what i wanted all this time? but why am i hesitant to say yes when zura asked me the same question? i am having second thoughts. i'm still young but me.d is not. i have time to play around but he's not. why am i interested in guys that i have no interest to live with for the rest of my life? then probably it is just another matter of time. i miss him. =(