of lucky and future plans

kukatakan dengan indah
dengan terbuka
hatiku hampa
sepertinya luka
menghampirinya

kau beri rasa
yg berbeda
mungkin kusalah
mengartikannya
yang kurasa cinta

tetapi hatiku
selalu meninggikanmu
terlalu meninggikanmu
selalu meninggikanmu

kau hancurkan hatiku
hancurkan lagi
kau hancurkan hatiku
tuk melihatmu

kau terangi jiwaku
kau redupkan lagih
kau hancurkan hatiku
tuk melihatmu

membuatku terjatuh
dan terjatuh lagi

membuatku merasakan
yang tlah terjadi
semua yang terbaik
dan terlewati
semua yang terhenti
tanpa kuakhiri

kukatakan dengan indah - peterpan

some people can be so lucky. i am luckier than some other people may think. to have a quiet life (for those of you who might not knew me well enough), is a bliss. the truth is, your life can not be stagnant. at some point, there must be obstacles and problems to solve and overcome.

i may not tell everything about what happened, here, like i used to. which explains why my entries became shorter compared to the heydays where every detail was described, like reading a book. the other reason is i am damn lazy too busy to sit down and type.

a friend of mine changed course from applied sciences to chemical engineering. she had to adhere to another 4 years of mental torture. she had guts, that girl. save my precious soul, i only have 2 years to go. gone through 2 semesters, i hardly can pick myself up from the big, drastic blow. it was, well i am still adapting to the lonely surroundings.

and i'd be 24, then when i grad? eh, i feel old already. then came the chapter of paying up the spent loans, eh that should be after securing a job. zura talked me into applying for manager at makan place when i can't find a job, then. yea, then azimah and you are already comfy at the top being second asst., while i screwed up when interviewed by sofiah the h.r director and sucked doing o.j.e. just to be stuck being a plain f.m.? err... i'd rather be a crew hahahaha while finding other suitable job.

next chapter, kahwin. eh no, that'd be after i got a car and a house which would be loooong after i'm stable enough lonnnnnng after i'd secure a job loooooonnng after i could find one loooooonnggg after i grad. errr... it will be long enough before you can expect to receive kad merah of my wedding reception because i think by the time i got a car and a house, i'd have trouble to find a guy to screw marry. except being the second if you're lucky, not so lucky the third and luckiest/most unfortunate the fourth. hah!

if i'd have no luck in the marriage chapter, i'd marry my work. being a workaholic and expand my empire. or maybe i can continue my studies, get a phD and adopt a baby like angelina jolie did. get involved in charities, chewaahhh. instead of moping why-i-am-still-single thang. woot!

enough of this dreaming. i still have the tests this week. i'm just... duped.