a mass blabber of everything

• he asked me why would it be when he listened to chris brown's with you made him miss me? don't ask. mission accomplished. perfect score.

• she already has a bf. even when he is the person i hated. even when they're like beauty and the beast. even when they're like humpty dumpty and tinkerbell. i will be nice for her sake. as long as she's happy. as long as she knows her limits that our time will be our time and not shared with the bf. vain, i'm so vain.

• currently writing the love-life CV. yes, feel free to ask. am in desperate mood. rewriting the resume, to find a job, for real. for honda, for resort home, for UK. potential suitors welcomed. potential employers are a DEFINITE MUST!

• questioning the fact that i took the best major ever, but with the heckload of credit hours that i might as well pull my hair (yes people, the hair i adore so much) off my head, running and screaming like a mad woman, drop down and die. die. die.

• looking for sponsors. for the upcoming wedding with the know-who-yet and the dinner blast. feel free to drop cash or favors or tokens. whatever. credit cards also accepted.

• wondering why i can't get my hands on/off choi han kyul, seol gong chan and lee shin?

• manhwa just rocks. k-dramas hog my resources and hd space, but entertaining. hah!

• not in the mood to turn off streamyx and shift all of me there. i'll always belong here.

envying the people in love. at the same time happy and contented to see such smiles and happiness existed in this time. i still apply the 3-months curse. don't blame me. good guys are meant for good girls.

i don't know when i'll be able to write again. my fucking workload just never ends.

the intense pressure.

what i badly want to do right now is simply pulling my hair off my head. seriously.

screaming my heart doesn't work anymore.

neither does banging my head against the wall.

even not crying the bucketload of tears. i think the tears are in tens of litres right now if collected.

so, the last resort is by sacrificing my mane. not by the conventional periodical cutting but rather by hands of force wahaha!



now, seriously i do sound sick, the final-year age-old syndrome.

suffocation

from,

too many jobs to do;

too many tests to study for;

too many reports to write;

too many things to ponder over;

too many outings owed;

too much sleep;

too many k-dramas to watch;

too many books to read;






too many deaths and losses. Al-fatihah.

post yang takde kaitan

aku memang berkawan dengan kawan-kawan lelaki yang kurang sikit tahap sensitiviti diorang kepada benda2 sekeliling diorang terutamanya perasaan perempuan. aku dah terbiasa dengan lelaki yang konon-konon macho ni (hehe!), lelaki yang jiwang adalah fags, lelaki yang tak reti control perasaan adalah loser.

so, jangan salahkan aku bila:

• aku tak cakap mana-mana aku nak pergi. aku tak reti nak repot segala pergerakan aku, kasi tau checkpoint aku. mak aku pun tak demand gitu.

• aku gelak kat ko sebab ko tension gf ko x angkat tepon.

• aku cuma cakap hai kat ko bila jumpa kat store. tu pun, nasib baik le aku tegur, daripada buat tak reti je, ye tak?

• aku tak reti nak pujuk orang merajuk. aku memang fail dengan jayanya.

• aku tido tak cakap. aku kalo tido trus je tido, takdela nak gi bagi tau semua, woi aku nak tido dah ni. lain le time tido aku bleh tulis mesej tuh.

• aku tak balas mesej. kadang2 kredit takde. bukan aku tak nak balas, cuma aku amik masa lama nak karang mesej.

• aku lebih kelelakian dari ko/bf ko. wahahaha!

• aku cover soft-side/jiwang aku. hahaha! yer la, aku kan perempuan, please la.

• demand lebih. aku bukan perfectionist, tapi aku mahu yang best. sape tak nak benda yang best kan?

aku penat la nak amik kisah. banyak lagi benda nak buat dan settle.

oh.

secara tiba2,

"ko dah makin kurus la"


trus aku rasa happy gile. ko perasan rupe nye aku ni, dulu dan sekarang. dulu budak kecik, skang aku dah nak grad dan nak beli honda civic sebijik, kasi tayang kat ko. haha!

girlfriends and boyfriends.

they befriended me. they'll tag along everywhere i go.

can't help it by being protective over them.

then, they'll leave me for their boyfriend.

i'll be the crying shoulder, the patient listening ear, the company whenever catfights happen, the middle man. the neutral party.

the specific tagline at this time is:

"why can't you be my boyfriend, instead?"

and all of this while they're courting, their boyfriends would be damn jealous of me. it is still beyond me why would they be jealous of their girlfriend's girl friend.

hey, i'm still the macho one here ok? since i don't fight about girls with guys. hahaha!

--------------


we became friends.

sometimes when you are attached. sometimes when you're not.

the former case:

you hung out with me, just the 2 of us. but you never allow your gf to hang out with her classmates, on the basis of who knows what might've happen.

the latter case:

we hung out a lot. and you were always eyeing at other girls, taking a hit every now and then. i'll be the cheering on party, laughing at you when your attempt fails.


for both cases,

sometimes, you even forget i'm a girl. you never let me go. you keep your gf and wanted me to be near. you chased after other girls and still, you need me to be there.

you get jealous when i flirt with other guys in front of you.




you see, these are the reasons i'm still single. for the sake of my girlfriends and boyfriends (chewah!).