time

he told me this:

" i don't regret that it ended. i regret the precious time. "

indeed.

i used to be in that position too, where the ending was he married someone else. but the fact that we never really hit it off kinda saved me as we're still very good friends. i was in a special kind of a relationship with him for so long that i forgot how it was without him. i am so proud to say that what i am today is his grooming (the sarcastic trait included!). talk about peer pressure and influence, lol. i don't regret the time since it matures me, it made me feel safe to make choices, to have my own sweet time to choose, and most importantly, it made me grow, to open up, be hurt again and again, only to rise stronger everytime. i can never repay you enough for all the hurts and pain i've caused you, but at least i know you're proud of the way i turned out to be, your protege, kahkahkah. his quote, rephrased by lifeh0use:

" i tried my best to be guarded, i'm an open book instead. "

well-said. hahahaha!

on another note, i listened to this argument on the radio;

" how long do you think will someone be ready for a new relationship after a breakup? "

there were quite a bunch of responses but this one was funny and calculative even:

" for each number of year spent in the relationship times by 3 months. so, if you're in a relationship for 2 years, you shall be ready to hop on the dating game again in 6 months "

LOLOL.

it is true that it depends on the person itself. as for me, life must go on. at one point, i stopped caring and just don't give a damn. love comes knocking anytime it pleases. so, it rather boils down to whether you could differentiate whether it was love or lust or just plain rebound. and yea, i've never been in any long-term ships, so i can talk motivating things like this when i dunno crap. but i think, someone new might help, a lot in fact, if you really wanna move on and not mope and cry all day.

i didn't blame her. maybe she was just trying hard to move on, even when it was barely a month. and i think girls have narrowed their choices to those who gave them the most attention, like the way rihanna sang, that girls need to feel that they're the only girl in the world. but then, the war is not yet lost. what might be one's glass, might be another's gem. she wasn't even a friend of mine, but i just found out that she and her new bf are both friends with my friend in fb. it's twisted and amusing at the same time.

only time will tell. distance and time, i will be waiting. =)

undecided

it was quite an eventful day yesterday despite me having to spend quite a big chunk of my rest day in the aquarium. but luckily, it went well, i'm pretty satisfied with the end result. felt like a huge burden off my shoulder. well, one shoulder, another will be the dreaded monday morning as always.

my hometown is actually a small cowboy town, where the shops will be closed and the streets empty by 9pm. it is a very sleepy town, that's why i kept on falling asleep any chance i get whenever i'm home, ok, that's irrelevant.

so, the point that i was going to say, you're more likely to meet your neighbour or your school teacher while going for grocery shopping or the likes. it is a town where almost everybody knows everyone. uh, maybe that's just me, i used to work front-line, i seem to have this weird thinking that everyone i met is familiar.

geez, i seem to drift off from saying my main point these days. i'm getting rotten. i need to start writing again.

where was i? oh, yea, the small town talk. there was this guy, we used to work together at the frontline. then he quit. i didn't see him again until 2 years later. in kl. the joke was that he lives in my sleepytown too, but of all the places, we met again in kl.

my girlfriend hails from kelantan. she said her classmate was from my sleepytown. turns out, he's the nephew of one of the teachers in my high school, and he lives next to my block. the joke was that it took someone from kelantan for me to know that someone who's related to the teachers in my sleepytown and lives in the next block, met in kl. funny.

my childhood friend in sleepy town, though we kinda drifted away after rumours spreading out that he kinda had a crush on me. i was a darcy-dreaming girl, so charming is what he's not. and perhaps i regarded him more as a bro, it would feel incestous, kahkahkah. the last time we met was when he told me his plans after spm. which was 10 years ago. met in kl. at my housing area.

i saw the second guy after 4 months, today. he smiled a weak smile and looked stressed. i hope he's okay. the highlight of the day was of course the childhood friend. he recognized me from afar. i still look the same, the nerdgeeky look i sported since i was 10, lol. of course the gf was throwing daggers at me, they seemed in a rush so i just smiled and walked away.

i am having trouble sleeping. gotta get this overflowing thoughts out, gotta sieve them.