reaching out

i used to write long entries. i used to miss the hours i was away from typing my thoughts here. that was when all i could think ; how unfair the world was to me.

it has been a lot of changes. i keep what i treasure and share some of it whilst keeping the darkest and the most intimate.

for the period i was away, 2 major things happened.

my grandfather passed away. he was bedridden for 2 months and we were all relieved that he's gone and no longer in pain; though we fought alongside him but knew his time has come and let him be with his Almighty Creator.

i'm going to miss his ketupat-weaving days, his patience and his rhymes. he was 90. Alfatihah.

my cousin's wedding. it was the 2 weeks after, in solemn mood. in 2 weeks, we said goodbye to my grandfather and later, welcoming a new family member.

i missed the ambo-ambo (our tradition of candy and coins throwing by the newlyweds) for a better cause that puts light and consoling arm to the grief and pain. more than a dream come true.

for i've changed, more than you know. more than anyone else knows.