dedication

was in love.

still am.

always will be.


let fate fare you better.

confused

i am trying to find the common ground. so many people have taken me for emotional rides till i get no sense of direction of where i'm heading.

one told me that.

another told me this.

i know they all meant well, but at some point, i just wanna be heard. i know The Almighty will hear me always.

i am grateful for all the encouragement. but hearing what i said on the same occasion is somehow queer. not soothing, but weird in some scale.

o't0wn used to sing

" coz i want it all or nothing at all.
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair "

yes, maybe i'll fight on. when all this insanity cools down.

depression

please excuse the depressed entries that will be coming most of the time. i am currently trying to recover from something nasty that needs a lot of attention and will involve a lot of sadness, moodiness, some stupidity and a lot of cold-hearted writings.

if you're looking for some light-hearted read, kindly leave. this is not the place, not here, not now.

now, maybe we shall start on some of the real depressing stuffs.

objective

she said:

even when you don't like the same things, even when you are so different, at least you must have the same objective of where you're going. then only you can plan or do things around trying to achieve that objective.

she's right. there is no point of being so alike that even a simple objective is not set and achievable.

starting back from scratch is such a chore. that was why i didn't bother to start in the first place.

trust

it's not easy to put trust in anyone. in fact, in my opinion, it has to be earned. whether someone is worth to be bestowed this in the first place.

but in your case, i trusted you completely, without a single doubt. coz i know you're someone that can be trusted with life.

the only problem is, i don't trust myself.

fact to live by

i know you might have reasons for all that you did. so, be it.


it is painful when the one you love doesn't love you,

but it is a different thing when the one you love doesn't love you anymore.

doubts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVnvikQpEig&feature=related

What do you do when you're stuck,
Because the one that you love,
Has pushed you away,
And you can't deal with the pain,
And now you're trying to fix me,
Mend what he did,
I'll find the piece that i'm missing,
But I still miss him,
I miss him, i'm missing him,
Oh I miss him, I miss him i'm missng him

And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Sitting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love has still hit me,
Like a broken arrow.
Like a broken arrow.

He's the thorn in my flesh
That I can't take out
He's stealing my breath
When you're around,
And now you're trying to convince me,
He wasn't worth it,
But you can't complete me,
It's the thought that he's missing,

I miss him, I'm missing him,
Oh I miss him I miss him, i'm missing him,

What do you do
When your heart's in two places?
You feel great but you're torn inside.
You feel love but you just can't embrace it,
When you found the right one at the wrong time.

pixi3 lott - broken arrow

on the lookout

i thought i would never have to look again. but how wrong i was. i am again on the look out. :)